Recognizing Overidentification with Financial Success
Most people know that the most important things in life are free.
Love, comfort, happiness. The list goes on.
Healthy relationships involve both partners enjoying life’s pleasures together.
When one partner overemphasizes wealth as part of self-worth, it can lead to frustration, dissatisfaction, and relational conflict.
According to research, financial self-worth is not directly tied to actual wealth.
Deborah E. Ward et al. (2021) examined the role of financial self-worth in relationships in "For the Love of Money."
They recognized financial conflicts as among the top reasons for partner dissatisfaction and relational dissolution in romantic pairings, and sought to explore beyond the pressure of economic strain, to investigate the psychological precursors of the types of financial conflicts that impact relationship satisfaction.
They proposed that only people who base self-worth on financial success would be likely to experience frequent and intense financial conflict with relationship partners, partially because they prioritize the pursuit of money rather than relationship development.
Their findings support this proposal. Common experience does as well.
Red Flags of Prioritizing Wealth Over Relational Health
Not everyone who has enjoyed financial success considers money to be a part of their identity. Benevolent philanthropists are celebrated and cherished for their authentic generosity, and many have healthy personal and family relationships as well.
The separate class of people who over-identify with money may benefit from gentle reminders that even if they have it, they not only cannot take it with them at the end of life, but they cannot enjoy it alone between now and then.
How can you best recognize financial overidentification?
Not through occupation, zip code, or actual wealth.
You can perceive it through clues such as such as preference in conversation topics, boasting about recent purchases or planned acquisitions, or photos shared in online dating profiles.
Someone who shares pictures of his or her children or pets may indicate a healthier mindset than someone who primarily showcases high-end logos, or photos of themselves in sports cars or aboard a private yacht.
Money Cannot Buy Love: Emphasizing Worth Over Wealth
In the end, because most people recognize the value of relational prosperity over money, when involved with a partner who has a proclivity towards financially based self-worth, expressing love, validation, and appreciation can effectively accompany an effort to facilitate a shift in focus.
People who love money can be reassured of their personal worth aside from their pursuit of wealth.
An understanding partner can prompt a change in priorities, leading through example with a healthy emphasis on family, friends and faith, in order to demonstrate how the best things in life are free.
(A related article may be found here.)
This article was originally published in Psychology Today, and is used with the permission of its author.
Wendy L. Patrick, JD, MDiv, Ph.D., is an award-winning career trial attorney and media commentator. She is host of "Live with Dr. Wendy" on KCBQ, and a daily guest on other media outlets, delivering a lively mix of flash, substance, and style. Read Dr. Wendy L. Patrick's Reports — More Here.
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