Rosie O'Donnell Blogs Off

THE LEFT COAST REPORT
A Political Look at Hollywood

As if Jacko doesn't have enough weird stuff to ponder. Now he's getting pointers from Britney Spears.

No, she's not giving him guidance on what spray gel works best when you're in a rush or which pajamas to wear to court.

Britney is advising Jackson on how he can procure a more macho image.  

Spears believes that Jackson needs to "be a man." And she thinks he can do so by following her two-step formula for enhancing masculinity: Grow a moustache and get in a fight.

Spears believes that Jackson needs to "be a man." And she thinks he can do so by following her two-step formula for enhancing masculinity: Grow a moustache and get in a fight.

Allure magazine reported that Spears said Jackson "needs someone to be like, 'OK, let's buck you up, let's give you a moustache, let's rough you up, let's go to a bar, let's get drunk and be a man.'"

"If he did do those things, I feel sorry for him, I feel like he probably feels alone, and he needs some help," Britney explained.

Evidently, Britney is steadfast about the fight advice for M.J. She said, "And if he didn't do those things, I feel sorry for him," adding that "either way, he needs to get in a fight."

The Left Coast Report hears that Robert Blake, Phil Spector and
James Brown are champing at the bit to get their own Britney tip.

Tara Reid Files Suit Over Sales Pitch

It all started November 2004 when Tara Reid had a real-life wardrobe malfunction.

As she was making her entrance at a Sean "P. Diddy" Combs birthday party, one of her upper body parts made an unplanned appearance of its own.

Unfortunately for Tara, a bevy of photographers were there to capture the unclad moment.

If that wasn't humiliating enough, in February 2005 an ad alluding to the Reid incident popped up.

Seeking buyers for Sky Las Vegas Condominiums, the ad read "Dear Tara Reid. Come let it all hang out."

Tara has filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court against the condo company.

Reid's suit claims that the wording of the ad could lead people to think that the actress let her dress strap slip on purpose. She's asking the court to stop Sky Las Vegas from continuing to publish or distribute the ads.

Reid also alleges that the company is trying to take advantage of her inadvertent partial nudity.

The Left Coast Report expects that, to prevent Tara from having any other wardrobe malfunctions, perhaps the court will issue a restraining order.

Clawless in West Hollywood

In a dog-eat-dog town like Hollywood, fights sometimes include teeth and claws.

That's how it is for real in the battle that's going on between California veterinarians and the city of West Hollywood.

West Hollywood, sometimes known as San Francisco South, was the first town in the nation to outlaw the removal of claws from cats (the removal of claws from agents, publicists and managers has not, as yet, been debated).

The city of West Hollywood would also like a ban on the tail docking and ear cropping of our four-legged friends.

In response to the furry flap, the California Veterinary Medical Association has filed a lawsuit. It is challenging the existing law and also trying to stop the proposed tail and ear legislation.

West Hollywood Mayor John Duran told Reuters that the city had led the way in outlawing animal cruelty. He touted the 2002 decree that pet owners should be known as "guardians" and their pets as "companion animals."

Jon Klingborg, president of the vet organization, said, "This is not an issue that has anything to do with whether a procedure is unkind or cruel. The city of West Hollywood is overstepping its bounds. It is taking away a pet owner's freedom to choose how they want their pets cared for."

But Jennifer Conrad, a practicing vet who actually supported the declawing ban, said that the California vets "should be spending their time on something more constructive when there are so many animal problems, like overpopulation."

Conrad added that "fighting for the right to amputate the fingers off cats is really a waste of their money."

West Hollywood has cats with fingers? That might be of interest to Garfield.

The Left Coast Report suspects that if a cat or dog could actually voice a complaint, it would be about a snip in another part of their anatomy.

Rosie O'Donnell Blogs Off

Rosie O'Donnell is a former talk show host, former K-mart spokeswoman, former magazine mogul, former Broadway producer, and probably a soon-to-be former owner of a cruise company for gays.

Now Rosie's a blogger on a site called "formerlyrosie," which she describes as "the unedited rantings of a fat 42-year-old menopausal ex-talk show host married mother of four."

Blogs are an inexpensive way to go, unlike the Broadway musical starring Boy George that O'Donnell produced. "Taboo" closed after three months and reportedly cost Rosie millions.

Rosie's blog recently featured some prosody on Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. It read as follows:

"she scares me condi
i expect her to unzip her skin
and have dick cheneys twin brother step out laughing --
like on scooby doo"

Apparently, Rosie is thinking of returning to the small screen.

Her blog hints:

"i am thinking about going back on tv
how when with who
details...."

The Left Coast Report looks forward to the day when Rosie acquires the title of former blogger.

Academy Awards -- Not What They Used to Be

Academy Awards aren't just about gold statues. They're about cold hard cash.

Films that snag big awards generally reel in the dough, so studios shell out lots of money for Oscar ads, PR and parties as an investment in future box office bucks.

As an example, the "Shakespeare in Love" box office take jumped 44 percent the weekend after winning an Oscar.
 
Likewise, "The English Patient" saw a 50 percent and "Schindler's List" a 53 percent boon to box office profits.

Not so this year. According to Brandon Gray of Box Office Mojo, "Million Dollar Baby" rose a meager 11 percent in its first post-Oscar weekend -- this after winning Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor.

The Left Coast Report asks, with the TV ratings down 2 million from last year and a large part of the country noticing the awards rebuff of "The Passion of the Christ," could it be that the Oscars are trending toward irrelevancy?

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