Tags: Losers | For | Kerry

Losers For Kerry

Friday, 27 February 2004 12:00 AM

Losers of the left, unite! You have nothing to lose but what you’ve already lost.

Had the Massachusetts senator to the left of that other one set forth deliberately to assemble a coterie of failed political performers he could not have compiled a more illustrious list of qualifiers for membership in Losers Synonymous.

All share a glaring similarity: They or earlier losing candidates they’ve supported are too liberal for most Americans to stomach. Here are but a few of those rejected by their own (the list is sanitized of any mention of numerous Hollywood lefty starlots following the Kerry camp).

“I came, I saw, I skedaddled with my tail between my legs.”

“Take it from me. Run on your record in Vietnam.”

“Can’t scare me. I’m stickin’ with the union.”

“I’m from Missouri. I was going to show ‘em.”

“No one pays attention to your personal life.”

“If it hadn’t been for Chappaquiddick maybe I could get elected dogcatcher outside Massachusetts.”

“You can bore some of the people some of the time, but you can also bore all the people all of the time.”

“Why not endorse Kerry? We’ve already lied to the American people, time after time after time. That’s why we’re known as the Times.”

Soon to be signing up for Kerry, in all likelihood:

“I warned about Gore. Now Dean’s fouled out. Put me in, coach.”

“They didn’t want me. So I backed Dean. They didn’t want Dean. So I’m backing Kerry.”

“Dean let me down with a big thud, but then he was no heavyweight.”

“As it turned out, my first choice, Howard, was born with both feet in his mouth. Here I go again.”

“And I had such hopes for Gen. Clark. Oh, well, here’s my plan.”

“I know John Kerry. He’s one of us. He was my lieutenant governor. Somebody help me.”

“I have a secret, but I either won’t tell or I can’t remember.”

“Second place ought to be worth something.”

“Running mate or we demonstrate.”

“We were right then, we’re right now. See you in Hanoi at the big reunion.”

“Ah feel a malaise comin’ on.”

“I shall délivair zee United Nations vote.

“Go for it, man. But hurry!”

“We will continue our nutty behavior and continue to expect different results.

“Quick, somebody, print up a membership card in Losers Synonymous for our illustrious inductee, John F. Kerry. And a big hand for our next failed presidential nominee of the Democratic Party!

“Let’s hear our 2004 campaign slogan. All together now:

“Keep Left! Keep Losing!”

107-102

© 2019 Newsmax. All rights reserved.

   
1Like our page
2Share
Pre-2008
Losers of the left, unite! You have nothing to lose but what you've already lost. Had the Massachusetts senator to the left of that other one set forth deliberately to assemble a coterie of failed political performers he could not have compiled a more illustrious list of...
Losers,For,Kerry
426
2004-00-27
Friday, 27 February 2004 12:00 AM
Newsmax Media, Inc.
 

Newsmax, Moneynews, Newsmax Health, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, and Newsmax World are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

NEWSMAX.COM
America's News Page
© Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved