Kim Jong-il Tries to Ban 'Team America'

THE LEFT COAST REPORT
A Political Look at Hollywood

A Softer 'Passion'

This March, mega-moviemaker Mel Gibson is set to release a new version of the blockbuster "The Passion of the Christ."

In an effort to accommodate people who love the story but wanted the brutality toned down, the movie has been painstakingly re-tailored.

In making a subdued version of the film, Gibson, who has recently been referred to as Hollywood's most powerful figure, was responding to something that his fans wanted.

"There has been quite a demand by the religious community to bring [the film] back for Easter," Bruce Davey, Gibson's partner at Icon Productions, told Variety.

At the same time, fans of "The Passion" wanted a version that would tone down the scenes of torture and suffering that are a part of the Crucifixion story. "Mel wanted to try and accommodate those people by making a version that is softer and gentler," Davey explained.

Distributor Newmarket Films will release "The Passion Recut" nationwide on March 11.

The Left Coast Report can't think of a better way to deepen the Easter experience than to view this act of cinematic devotion.

Kim Jong-il Tries to Ban 'Team America'

When it was first released in October 2004, "Team America" experienced criticism from both the left and the right.

That's because the men behind the film, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, explained that they were not taking sides in the debate over U.S. foreign policy but were merely being equal-opportunity annoyers.

"When this movie is over, a lot of people will be confused about what side we're on," Parker said.

Parker and Stone, who are also the creators of Comedy Central's "South Park," used puppets reminiscent of the television marionette series "The Thunderbirds" to poke fun at the Hollywood Left, the U.S.'s image in the world and a certain Elvis-impersonating North Korean dictator.

Apparently, North Korean despot Kim Jong-il has seen "Team America" and is having a tizzy.

His ranting could have to do with the fact that Jong-il is depicted in the movie in some less-than-flattering ways.

For starters, the flick has the tyrant shooting his translator in the head and throwing former United Nations weapons inspector Hans Blix into a tank of sharks.

The Jong-il character is a James Bond-type villain who is assisted by Hollywood celebs in carrying out a plan that he has to use weapons of mass destruction. Ultimately, he seeks to cause damage that's far worse than 9/11.

In real -- as opposed to reel -- life, the North Korean Embassy in Prague is asking for a ban of the film in the Czech Republic.

According to the Czech press, an Embassy official claimed that the movie "harms the image of our country," adding that "such behavior is not part of our [North Korea's] country's political culture."

The Czech government evidently has no intention of cooperating with the Stalinist nation's request.
 
"We told them it's an unrealistic wish," ministry spokesman Vit Kolar told the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. "Obviously, it's absurd to demand that in a democratic country," Kolar added.

The Left Coast Report hears that Kim Jong-il was really upset because his marionette was left out of the puppet sex scenes.

Missy Elliott Disses Danish Queen

Last November, hip-hopper Missy Elliott launched a clothing line called "Respect Me."

Apparently, Queen Margrethe II of Denmark feels anything but respected. She's infuriated over the logo that Elliot designed for the fashions.

The singer reportedly created the logo herself. But the queen of Denmark claims that it infringes on the royal monogram and wants the thing changed.

Since Missy Elliott is also known as "the Queen of Hip-Hop," Adidas made the logo look regal. But now the company has withdrawn the clothes from stores in Denmark because of a potential Danish royal lawsuit.

A representative for Adidas, Anne Putz, told Allhiphop.com that "Adidas has never intended to copy the crown or any other symbols of the Royal family in Denmark or in any other country."

The Left Coast Report wonders, with all the royal hoopla, why would the Queen of Hip Hop associate with a spokesperson named Putz?

Tom Sizemore Caught With His Pants Down

What is it with Hollywood and rehab?

Tom Sizemore is a talented and versatile actor. He was Sergeant Horvath in "Saving Private Ryan" and had significant roles in "Pearl Harbor" and "Black Hawk Down."

According to an interview with The Calgary Sun, in 1998 during the filming of the TV movie "Witness to the Mob," Sizemore's mother and Robert De Niro convinced him to enter a drug rehab program.

Unfortunately, he's now in jail.

While on probation, Sizemore requested permission from the court to travel to Cambodia for a film role. The court was willing to let him go to Cambodia as long as prior to leaving he underwent daily drug tests.

Sizemore failed the first drug test. So Judge Antonio Baretto ordered police to arrest the actor for violation of his probation.

Adding to his problems, the former fiance of Heidi Fleiss was found with a fake male organ in his underwear.

Deputy City Attorney Robert Cha told news Celebrity Justice that a prosthetic male member was recovered, attached to a pair of Sizemore's underwear, with a plastic container filled with clean urine. Evidently he was attempting to rig the results of the drug tests.

The Left Coast Report imagines that Hollywood reporters were tickled to get a news story about a prosthetic male organ and a guy named Sizemore.

Pitiful Plaintiff Roman Polanski

In his libel suit against Vanity Fair, the U.K. legal system has granted fugitive film director Roman Polanski the right to give testimony via video.

Polanski, a French citizen, pleaded guilty to a U.S. charge  of sex with a minor, served time while awaiting sentencing and then fled to France to hide from extradition.

Polanski has been a fugitive for 27 years. He's free from extradition to the U.S. under French law, but if he were to go to the U.K. he'd be arrested and sent back to the U.S. to face a probable prison term.

Polanski apparently doesn't mind suing in Britain, where the libel laws are more lenient.

He's bringing an action against Conde Nast, the publisher of Vanity Fair, because of a July 2002 article. The piece alleged that he propositioned a woman in a New York restaurant on a stopover between Los Angeles and London on the way back from the funeral of his wife, Sharon Tate, a murder victim of the Charles Manson cult in 1969.

Polanski claims that the article is false. Condé Nast admits that it published the wrong date in the article but that the incident in question actually did take place, as Polanski was returning from the funeral.
 
Britain's highest court, the House of Lords, ruled that Polanski could give testimony via a video conference link from France, because if it refused to allow such testimony, his right to a fair hearing under the European convention on human rights might be breached.

Go figure -- the guys in the powdered wigs are helping a fugitive from justice with his civil lawsuit.

The Left Coast Report says it sounds vaguely familiar ... sort of like the Dems wanting to give driver's licenses to lawbreakers.

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