Dear Doris,

Three months ago my girlfriend cheated on me with someone from her workplace. When I found out the next day (from another source) I ended our relationship.

Prior to this point I was completely infatuated with her. I was prepared to marry and start a family and I had no idea that things were not as wonderful between us as I thought. She immediately entered a relationship with this person and a week later was telling him she loved him.

I know this because she continued to talk to me and told me these things. Over the past few months she would call about once a week and describe how terrible things were with this guy and how they were always fighting.

She now says she wants to leave him, to get out of her relationship with him, but she’s worried about hurting him. It’s only been three months and I still have very strong feelings for her. I guess I’m writing this to get some advice on how I should proceed.

I would like to have a relationship with her but how would I know if she really wanted it or if I was just a reason to break up with the other guy?

Answer: This woman sounds like she needs to grow up. As for you, once you love someone it’s hard to simply turn off your love. It takes time to turn down feelings and let go of your hopes and dreams of the future with this particular person, even if that person has stepped on your heart.

My advice is tough it out — get support from your friends, and then start looking for a new relationship.