We think about a particular gift to buy someone, we earn the money to buy it, we shop for it, we haul it home and wrap it, and then at the appropriate time, we put it under the tree or take it to the office, and we give it. All the while, we hope that the receiver will enjoy our gift.

The receiver of the gift, out of deference to the giver, is to say “thank-you.” Even if the receiver doesn’t like the color of the gift, realizes the gift won’t fit, or knows he will never use it, he still needs to thank the giver enthusiastically.

Last year I gave a friend a putting green. I thought it was a great gift. I researched various putting devices and came up with a 7-foot practice green. I figured the guy could use it in his office, set it up in his den, or put it in his basement. I have a similar one set up in a spare bedroom. Mostly I trip over it, but occasionally I use it.

When this man got his gift, he said flatly, “Oh, a putting green.” He did not feign excitement, take it out of the box, look in the box, or say “thank-you.” In 30 seconds it was all over. I thought, “Missed on that one, Doris.” I was really disappointed.

For an instant I thought about rushing over and pulling the green out of the box and making over it myself. Maybe I could get him to see how wonderful it was. But I had already researched the various practice greens, talked to the fellow’s wife about it, (she thought he’d love it), ordered it from a catalogue, picked it up at the post office, wrapped the 4’x 8′ box, and lugged it to his house.

Somehow trying to get this guy excited about the present seemed too much. This brings me to the point of this column. When you get a gift, there are certain things, the gift receiver should do.

First, thank the giver.

Second, say thank you with enthusiasm, even if you think the gift is ridiculous or the wrong size. Your gratitude is a way to recognize the gift giver for all he or she has been through to get you that gift. You are the center of attention when you receive a gift. You make the other person the center of attention when you say “thank-you” and praise the gift.

Third, thank the person a few times during the day or evening. This conveys to the giver that you are aware of what he or she has been through.

Fourth, if the giver starts talking about the trouble she had finding the item, or how many stores she ran to, this is an indicator that you need to give her more strokes for her time and energy.

Saying “thank-you” is a way to give back as well as a way to give.

Check out Doris’ latest books, “The Boy Whose Idea Could Feed the World,” “The Parent Teacher Discussion Guide,” and “Thin Becomes You” at Doris’ web page: http://www.doriswildhelmering.com.