Tags: Health Topics

Marriages Are a Family Affair

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Wednesday, 08 Jul 2015 09:30 AM Current | Bio | Archive

During the wedding season, it’s important to consider that marriages not only make "two people one," but bring together two distinct family systems. How everyone in the bride and grooms families gets along makes a big difference to the long-term survival and happiness of the marriage.

Stresses and strains of difficult in-laws can result in situations where each spouse is torn between defending their original family and establishing their own. Two recent callers to my radio program highlight important issues.

The first was from a young woman who had been dating her now-husband since they were both 14. Her husband's sister was opposed to the marriage because she wanted her brother to marry somebody else. The sister became ugly, nasty, rude, and generally socially unacceptable.

My only question for the caller was, "What position did your husband take?"
She replied: "He totally stands up for me. He told them where I am not welcome, he will not go."

"Well, my dear," I responded, "Then you have it made in the shade. Idiots abound in the world and the only aspect of this situation that you should focus in on is that your man stood by his woman. That is the core of your life and that is the only part of your story you should embrace."

The second caller was an older woman who was complaining that her daughter-in-law did not respect her. I asked her what gave her that impression. Her response was that after she visits her son and his wife that she gets long, angry emails from her daughter-in-law complaining that during her visits she doesn’t follow the rules of the house with the children, etc.

I immediately responded with, "You should follow her rules." The caller's response indicated that she took my response to mean she had to demean herself by bowing to some kind of evil tyranny.

"Sweetheart," I continued, "it is her home, her husband, her children . . . therefore her rules. The way you get respect is by respecting those realities. You are not going to get respect by attempting to dominate them with your way of doing things. You are only going to get resentment; not love, not affection, not appreciation, and definitely not respect.”

It is often difficult for the mother of a son to let go of being The One.

It is important that extended family members show compassion, kindness, respect, and support to a newly married couple and put their personal preferences in the sink disposal.

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Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Read more reports from Dr. Laura — Click Here Now.


 




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It is important that extended family members show compassion, kindness, respect, and support to a newly married couple and put their personal preferences in the sink disposal.
Health Topics
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2015-30-08
Wednesday, 08 Jul 2015 09:30 AM
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