Tags: boy crisis | book | fatherlessness

'Boy Crisis' Book Is Required Reading, Explains Value of Fathers

'Boy Crisis' Book Is Required Reading, Explains Value of Fathers
(Birgit Korber/Dreamstime.com)

Monday, 27 August 2018 03:53 PM Current | Bio | Archive

"The Boy Crisis," by Drs. Warren Farrell and John Gray, has, on the one hand, been the subject of lavish praise by conservatives and experts in the field (e.g., ranked as “The best book of the 21st century” by Jed Diamond, prolific men’s health author), and on the other hand, been ignored by the mainstream liberal media.

For fathers of sons, like myself, "The Boy Crisis" is mandatory reading. I have for many years shared with others that I am far more concerned about my son growing up these days than my daughters.

Certainly Dr. John Gray has long annoyed academics and liberals by claiming that men and women are different (He wrote "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"). But Dr. Farrell was once a darling of the liberal media as the only man ever elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC. What this “odd couple” has produced is the most frightening, yet thorough, courageous and insightful books ever written on the problems facing our sons, as well as the causes. And most important, "The Boy Crisis" is filled with hundreds of practical solutions that every parent, educator or policy-maker can use to turn the crisis into an opportunity.

Dr. Farrell, who wrote the first five of six parts to "The Boy Crisis," begins with taking on the feminist claim that boys are not really having problems — "it’s just that the patriarchy is worried because girls are doing better.” Farrell counters that claim with global data from developed countries on mental health, physical health, education, and preparedness for careers of the future, and shows how boys are doing not just worse than girls, but worse than boys in the past generation on everything from a 50 percent reduction in sperm counts to a decline in IQs.

As soon as Farrell has made the depth and worldwide nature of the crisis clear, he then asks more out-of-the-box questions: Why are we so blind to the boy crisis? Why is the boy crisis largely in developed countries? How will raising our sons successfully in the future differ from raising our sons successfully in the past?

Dr. Farrell outlines nine causes of the boy crisis, but zeroes in on four of the most dominant: a “purpose void;” a dad void; the gap between what he calls “heroic intelligence” vs. “health intelligence;” and the use of drugs rather than alternative treatments to ADHD (handled by Dr. John Gray).

Of the nine causes, Dr. Farrell ranks one cause — dad-deprivation — as the greatest. Or, in the pithy prose characteristic of Farrell, “The boy crisis resides where fathers do not reside.” Of course, conservatives have been claiming that for decades even as liberals have emphasized female freedom to raise children without dads.

We need more dads acting like dads in America. It really is that simple.

But "The Boy Crisis" buttresses the conservative claim beyond expectation, with more than seventy ways that children — and especially boys — suffer when they are “dad-deprived” vs. “dad-enriched.” Many benefits of a boy being “dad-enriched,” are counterintuitive, such as an increase in empathy. Others, like dad-deprivation being the strongest single predictor of drug addiction and suicide, are a call to our conscience. Still others, like depression, lack of motivation, unemployment, imprisonment, purposelessness, addiction to video games and porn, we see all around us. Aggregately, we can tune in to how many of our national crises — whether drug overdosing or being the “incarceration nation,” can be resolved by getting dads involved.

The consequences of not attending to the boy crisis go beyond the damage to boys alone. Dr. Farrell documents how “boys who hurt, hurt us.” How? The great majority of mass shooters and school shooters are dad-deprived boys — leaving every parent with remnants of the insecurities emanating from children who are insecure. And moreover, studies of ISIS recruits, Farrell reports, reveal that the single most common denominator is minimal or no father involvement. Not only for male ISIS recruits, but also for the female recruits.

As Farrell calculates the trillions of dollars of government spending employed to curtail the damage of father absence — whether the mass shootings, unemployment, welfare, Medicaid, or our response to ISIS — it is easy to agree with his bottom line: “the absence of dad creates the presence of government.”

Perhaps the most potent part of "The Boy Crisis" relates to solutions every parent can use. For example, if children with significant father involvement do so much better, how can every family involve dads, and if that’s impossible, solicit other father figures? Farrell puts the primary responsibilities on schools to educate our children as to the difference between “mom-style parenting” versus “dad-style parenting,” and on dads to both educate themselves and explain to mom the value of dad-style parenting. As Farrell puts it, “moms can’t hear what dads don’t say.”

Practically every parent will recognize the differences in dad-style vs. mom-style parenting, but almost no parent will understand the potency of a dad’s contribution as clearly as Dr. Farrell explains it. For example, few parents know exactly why roughhousing generates empathy, and, while increasing assertiveness, decreases aggressiveness.

Dr. Farrell introduces one new concept after another to help our sons: the development of “Father Warriors”; the “Father’s Catch-22”; The Era of the Multi-Option Mom and the No-Option Dad; The Four “Must-Do’s” in the event of divorce. He helps parents understand boys’ unconscious wisdom; and identifies more than sixty red flags of depression and suicide.

The five chapters by Dr. Gray are a well-written, in depth analysis of the four faces of ADHD, its many causes, and both natural solutions and supplements for enhanced brain performance.

If you have a boy, or care about the next generation in the U.S. or around the world, "The Boy Crisis" is a masterpiece of readability and documentation that will both scare you and offer clear paths for solutions.

Steve Gruber is a conservative talk show host with 25 affiliates in Michigan. "The Steve Gruber Show" launched in 2012 with just four affiliates and has grown into the most powerful name in talk radio across Michigan. Steve has been named “Best Morning Personality” by the Michigan Association of Broadcasters five years in a row. His conservative, common-sense philosophy was developed during his time growing up in rural Michigan. Steve’s early career found him in several newsrooms including WILX, Lansing where he honed his investigative journalism and interviewing skills. He became the main news anchor of the station and before long was offered a job with NBC in Columbus, Ohio. While working for NBC, he covered the incredible launch of John Glenn, age 77, into space at Cape Canaveral, White Supremacists in Ohio, and the deadly game of selling prescription medication online. Steve was nominated for an Emmy in 2000. To read more of this reports — Click Here Now.

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For fathers of sons, like myself, "The Boy Crisis" is mandatory reading. I have for many years shared with others that I am far more concerned about my son growing up these days than my daughters.
boy crisis, book, fatherlessness
Monday, 27 August 2018 03:53 PM
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