I happened to be up later than usual Saturday night. Being in Los Angeles makes you feel as if you are behind the rest of the country to begin with, but since I live in the Midwest, waiting for the tape delay of the weekend's debate seemed like torture.
Finally, around midnight L.A. time, it was under way, and with it opened the official presidential campaign of 2004.
All of the Democratic candidates, be they declared or not, were in attendance.
This was a cast of characters all committed to one idea. They each think they should be the next president of the United States. They also each think that they are better for the job than the man who currently sits at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. and who has enjoyed the highest approval ratings longer than any president of my lifetime.
All of them definitely had things that they believed should be done away with.
Congressman Kucinich, the former mayor of Cleveland who left that city bankrupt, has the WTO and NAFTA in his sights.
The Rev. Al Sharpton stated that he would like to see the Constitution done away with and have new "priorities established" as to what kind of country this is.
Former U.S. Senator and Ambassador Carol Mosley-Braun joined Vermont Governor Howard Dean, Congressman Dick Gephardt and Senators Edwards, Graham and Lieberman in doing away with some or all of the tax cut.
And Senator John Kerry wanted to get rid of the war, except the part that he voted for, and he wanted to get rid of the tax cut except for the $350 billion that he voted in favor of. (Whew – he must get dizzy.)
Oh yeah, and don't forget that Sharpton also wanted to ban guns – but that kind of fits the whole "get rid of the Constitution" act he's got going anyway.
The debate was interesting – mostly because of the wide array of personality types that exist between all of the candidates. There were also a few surprises. Lieberman is pro-gun now (just not when he's running with Al Gore). Former Illinois Senator Mosley-Braun seemed surprised every time all "the boys" would stop talking and "let" her get a comment in.
A couple of times she was downright shocked by actually being called on. But you could tell she was prepared by the way she muttered through her ideas, referred constantly to her notes, and smiled like a giggly teenager when one of her points would be disputed by one of the boys.
One of the things I found most surprising was apparently how worried each of the "heavyweights" that are running seemed to be about Bob Graham. In fact, when the candidates took turns asking each other questions, nearly all of the questions were focused toward him. They gave the former Florida governor, in my estimation, the perfect little setup for him to position himself as a serious candidate.
Some of the moments during the evening were of no surprise. Gephardt, from all his years in leadership in the Congress, looked by far the most battle tested and seasoned of all the guys on the panel. Mosley-Braun smiled. Lieberman looked the friendliest.
Kerry looked like the guy who would give anyone the answer he thinks they would want. Howard Dean looked like the impatient guy who always had three points and would over-exaggerate his hand motions in counting them off as he told them to you.
Sharpton tried to invoke the need for a "movement." Mosley-Braun smiled. Edwards told his rags-to-riches story. (Gephardt tried that too, but he was better as the battle-tested guy.)
Bob Graham called himself a candidate from the "electable wing" of the party. Kucinich played the role of the angry outsider who hasn't got a prayer.
Hmm, let's see, did I leave anything out? Oh yeah ... Mosley-Braun smiled ... oh yeah ... she nodded and referred to her notepad. (Nice use of the notepad.) Occasionally she would also take a strategic drink of water ... nice touch!
When Congressman Gephardt began to talk about his health care proposal, the debate actually had the chance to look like it would turn substantive for a minute. But then it got all silly again with Sharpton talking about seniors eating dogfood in order to buy their prescriptions.
And the moment all of them began to say that they knew how to spend my money in a way that would make me happier than if I saved or spent it myself I nearly broke out laughing.
Sharpton had a clever one: "This issue is about cutting taxes or giving people a choice."
Huh? Hey – how about you give me back my money and I will make my own choice! A choice about what, anyway? And you don't need my tax money to spend to ponder the question either. Look, I was perfectly satisfied getting back twice as much money this year as I did the last year Clinton was in office – and if there is a way that I can get back more of what I paid in taxes next year, my vote will most likely go to the person that can get it for me.
There was that Mosley-Braun smile again. (Such white teeth – I wonder if she flosses.)
But back to the surprises for a minute. John Edwards gets asked a direct question as to the South Carolina ban on two "gay" men committing sodomy, even in the privacy of their own home. Edwards’ answer left me more than a bit befuddled.
"Well, George, see, that's problem with this country. I believe in the constitutional right to privacy, and I think it is one of the nation's greatest worries today ... we say we are exporting freedom, but what kind of freedom are we exporting. ..."
Huh? OK, so Senator Edwards honestly believes that if one man can't give another man a poke with Mr. Happy, this constitutes our nation's greatest problem?
Hey, wooohooo – locos up there on the stage in South Carolina – you guys ever hear of terrorism? 9/11? Any of this ringing a bell with you?
I didn't realize the definition of freedom was limited to being able to have bedroom fun with Frank and Johnny.
Well, there you go, America ... your 2004 slate of candidates. Yep, judging from this batch, President Bush had better pack it in. After all, it’s obvious that this field of brilliance has just so much more to offer America than those extremist Republicans.
And Carol, for the love of Pete, would you please stop smiling?
Kevin may be reached at
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