Grieving the loss of a loved one is a normal human experience and typically lasts many months for most people. But in some cases, bereavement — and attendant sadness, difficulty sleeping, painful reminders of the person, difficulty enjoying activities once shared, even anger — can persist far longer.
In such cases of what is known as “complicated grief,” an extreme, unrelenting reaction to loss can result in a serious risk to mental and physical health, according to a new study in The New England Journal of Medicine,
The New York Times reports.
M. Katherine Shear, M.D., notes that most individuals who lose a loved one are able to adjust and resume usual activities, experience joy, and remember their relative without intense pain within six months of a death.
But sometimes, even when the loss is neither sudden nor unexpected, survivors close to the deceased can experience extremely disruptive grief reactions that don’t fade over time.
Symptoms of “complicated grief” include intense yearning, longing, or emotional pain. They can also include frequent preoccupying, intrusive thoughts and memories of the person lost, and a feeling of disbelief or inability to accept the loss. In some cases, individuals have difficulty imagining a meaningful life without that person.
“People with complicated grief often feel shocked, stunned, or emotionally numb, and they may become estranged from others because of the belief that happiness is inextricably tied to the person who died,” wrote Dr. Shear, of the Columbia University School of Social Work and College of Physicians and Surgeons.
“Complicated grief is like a wound that doesn’t heal and can follow the loss of any close relationship.”
She said the risk of complicated grief is greatest — 10 percent to 20 percent — among those who lose a romantic partner and even higher among those who lose a child. It is more common following a sudden or violent death and most common among women older than 60, she reported.
Dr. Shear described a particular case of a 68-year-old widow who continued to be seriously impaired by grief four years after her husband died. She slept on the couch because she could not bear to sleep in the bed she had shared with him, found it too painful to engage in activities they did together, and no longer ate regular meals because preparing them was a too-distressing reminder of her loss.
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