In a 1964 episode of "The Lucy Show," Lucy takes a job as a process server; her first assignment is to serve another character in the show, bank president Mr. Mooney. But after trailing him all over town, she somehow ends up as a stowaway on a ship headed for a 28-day cruise.

Process serving wasn't dished up again as such a catastrophe until Seth Rogan, as Dale in 2008's "Pineapple Express," took on that career choice and ended up dodging a drug lord.

If you're serving up processed foods, it will almost invariably lead to disaster. A 10-year study published in the European Heart Journal found that people with cardiovascular disease who've had a heart attack or stroke and continue to eat ultra-processed foods are 66% more likely to have a second (fatal) heart attack or stroke, and 40% more likely to die from any cause than people who make sure to get ultra-processed foods out of their diet.

What’s more, eating healthfully part-time and downing ultra-processed foods at other times didn't help diminish the dangers of those deadly dishes.

Here’s how you can spot ultra-processed foods: They have hydrolyzed proteins, maltodextrins, hydrogenated fats and additives such as dyes, preservatives, anticaking agents, flavor enhancers, and sweeteners listed on ingredient labels.

And remember to check ingredient labels on theoretically "healthy" foods such as breakfast cereals and fruit yogurt. 

My recommendation: Take this list of ultra-processed ingredients with you when you go grocery shopping, and check that they aren't in what you buy, even if you haven't had a heart attack or stroke.