In the 1998 film, "You've Got Mail," chain-store owning, hard-driving businessman Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) rants about personalized coffee orders.

"Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. ... people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on Earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee, but an absolutely defining sense of self," he says.

But Joe was a bit off-base. We get why people are picky about their coffee: You want that cuppa Joe (ironic?) to be primo.

What is worth ranting about is the impulse to take a good-for-you beverage and turn it into a drink that is anything but healthy.

A study published in the journal Public Health found a full two-thirds of coffee drinkers add high-calorie, inflammation-triggering, heart-clogging substances like sugar, cream, and flavored syrups to their java, adding 60 to 140 extra calories per drink.

By itself, coffee is loaded with disease-preventing compounds.

In fact, the scientific report of the U.S. dietary guidelines advisory committee says: "Consistent evidence indicates that coffee consumption is associated with reduced risk of Type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease in adults. Moreover, moderate evidence shows a protective association between caffeine intake and risk of Parkinson's disease."

So if black coffee isn't for you, use nonfat milk and add cinnamon or nutmeg — but use the real deal, not anything with high fructose, corn-syrupy additives.

Then when you walk up to the counter you'll hand over your bucks, but not your health.