Treat your parents with respect and they will respect you.I’ve talked to a number of parents who feel their grown children do not treat them with respect.

Here are a few things parents have said they wanted:

• Please say hello and act like you’re happy to see me when I come for a visit. And when I call on the telephone, show some interest in what we’re talking about. And please, please answer the telephone sometimes when I call. I know you’re there.

• Ask about my life and what I’m doing.

• You know I have little money. It would be nice if you helped me pay some of my doctor bills.

• Respect my right to redecorate and change things in my house. Don’t tell me I don’t need a new sofa or family room furniture. I’m not ready to be buried yet.

• Ask before you help yourself to food in the refrigerator.

• If I tell you I don’t like something you’re doing, don’t punish me by not seeing me or not talking to me.

• Sometimes invite me to one of your parties so I can meet your friends.

• Just because you’ve changed religions, don’t ridicule mine.

• Offer to bring something when you come to dinner.

• Accommodate my schedule some times when we make a date to get together. I have a life too.

• Once in a while come for dinner and stay the whole evening.

• Stop ridiculing me when I tell you about something I’ve read about vitamins, or diet, or changes in the laws. I’m not always mistaken or stupid.

• Tell me about your life and the people you’re dating.

• Call back when you say you’re going to call back.

• Say yes or no to an invitation in a timely manner. Don’t keep me on hold until the last day.

• Remember my birthday and on time.

• Be gracious and thank me when I give you a gift, rather than acting as though it’s too much trouble to open it.

• Listen and believe me when I tell you I’m tired. Don’t push me to go on to one more store.

• Invite me to dinner sometime.

• Take a little time out of your life to remember to see your grandparents. They always took time with you when you were little.

• Be on time for dinner or call when you’ll be late.

Following these requests won’t solve all problems between parents and grown children. But it certainly sets the stage for a more respectful relationship.