Tags: marriage | relationships | therapy

Timing: It Just Makes Sense

Monday, 20 July 2015 04:55 PM Current | Bio | Archive

Marie threw a load of clothes into the washer and started it up. A few minutes before, Frank had stepped into the shower. As the washer filled with cold water, Frank was showered with very hot water. He stepped back from the shower nozzle and started banging on the wall.

“I’m being scalded to death,” he bellowed. “Turn off that washer!”

Marie rushed to shut off the washer. Neither she or Frank had messed up. You might say it was just bad timing.

But some problems caused by bad timing can be prevented.

For example, you’re talking on the phone and your husband asks you the whereabouts of the checkbook. You must now tell the party on the other end to wait while you talk to your husband.

Or you can try to mouth the answer. Or you can grab a paper and pencil and write a note. No matter how you handle it, your mate’s timing is poor and he’s created a stressful situation for you.

Another example: As you are rushing out the door to go to work, your child asks you to sign a permission slip for school or announces this is her day to bring a snack. Had she brought up the issue the day before, it would not have been a big deal. But because of her faulty timing, your feathers are bound to be ruffled.

One woman says her husband’s “favorite trick” is to start talking finances right before bedtime.
“Talking about bills and our money makes me feel anxious. Once he brings up the bills, I can’t fall asleep.”

Bad timing in the home also includes:

• Making a phone call right after your wife has told you dinner is ready.

•Asking your parents for money or the car a few minutes after you’ve smarted
off to them.

• Starting an important conversation with someone who is engrossed in a movie
or trying to balance the checkbook.

• Yelling for your mate to come and look at something in the front yard when you
have no idea where he is in the house or what he’s doing.

• Expecting sex when you’ve been rude and just had a fight.

• Telling your spouse you have no money as you pull in the movie parking lot.

• Sweeping the floor when the rest of the family is in the car waiting to leave.

• Talking about redecorating the family room when your husband has just told
you he feels insecure about his job.

Remember, smooth relationships require sensitivity to what others are doing and feeling. So watch your timing.

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Smooth relationships require sensitivity to what others are doing and feeling. So watch your timing.
marriage, relationships, therapy
Monday, 20 July 2015 04:55 PM
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