Therapists of all stripes are fond of telling their patients that they must get enough sleep. Along with getting enough exercise and eating right, it’s an important part of what we call “self care.”

We don’t tend to think of getting enough sleep as a critical ingredient in our sex life. But it is.

And if you’re in a steady relationship, getting enough sleep is critically important for your sex life.

If you have been lucky enough to be in mad and passionate love, you’ll recall that during the early, lusty phase, men and women alike will choose being sexual over eating, sleeping, working, or most anything else.

But once that lust stage fades, for many people being engaged in a passionate sexual relationship takes physical energy. If you’re physically exhausted, you’ll either avoid sex altogether, or you’ll have “sex” of such a lazy and abbreviated type that it doesn’t create any good memories.

But here’s another angle: Psychologists have proved that lack of sleep leads to irritability and difficulty controlling negative thoughts. So being chronically tired — and irritable — can damage the emotional part of your relationship.

People who are emotionally close are more likely to want to be sexual together.

When it comes to sexual motivation, women are probably more sensitive to how they are treated by their partners than are men. But no one feels tender and loving toward someone who is mean and cranky with them.

So if you chronically shortchanges yourself in the sleep department, maybe you should rethink your priorities. If you want a good sex life, get some rest.