Wednesday Jan 02 2013
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Some people are concerned 2013 will be an unlucky year because of the number 13. As compared to those lucky years like 2012 and 2011.
Congress has approved some version of this fiscal cliff bill thing. Well, taxes are going up, and now, they're looking to make cuts just about everywhere. In fact, oil companies today had to lay off 15 senators.
This has been a tough week for NFL coaches. Seven NFL head coaches got fired on Monday. That's a lot of job openings. That's the most job openings we've had in this country in the last four years.
According to Forbes magazine, the Dallas Cowboys are the most valuable team in the NFL. They are worth $2 billion. So I guess that old adage, "winning isn't everything," is true.
Late Show with David Letterman
You're looking at a very happy man. I made $500. You know how I did that? Betting against the Mayans.
Welcome to The Late Show, ladies and gentlemen, referred to as TV's entertainment cliff.
Kim Kardashian is pregnant. I just hope the media doesn't make a big deal about it. I hope it doesn't get blown way out of proportion.
That means Kim will be seeking publicity for two now.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
After hours and hours of tough negotiation, the most powerful people in America have finally come to an agreement — that’s right, if it’s a girl, they’ll name it Kim, and if it’s a boy, they’ll name it Kanye.
While working on a deal to avoid the fiscal cliff, members of Congress spent New Year’s Eve at the Capitol. Yeah, even the guy watching the Twilight Zone marathon with his parents was like, “Talk about a lame New Year’s.”
I heard that Dunkin' Donuts is testing a new line of gluten-free pastries. So if you're looking to eat healthy, still no.
On Monday night, thieves broke into the Apple store in Paris and stole one million dollars worth of iPhones and iPads. That’s right — they took four iPhones and two iPads.