Paulina Porizkova has admitted that she was devastated in the wake of her estranged husband Ric Ocasek's death.
"I mean, how many people wouldn't [think about it], you know?" the 57-year-old model told Page Six. in an interview published Sunday. Porizkova was referring to suicide.
"It's not even so much that I thought about how to kill myself or when to kill myself," she said. "It was just that feeling of, I just don't know how to go on. I can't do this anymore. I just want to go away. I can't bear waking up tomorrow morning, being the same person with the same feelings. I can't carry it anymore."
Ocasek died in September 2019 at age 75. The Cars frontman was recovering from recent surgery at their Gramercy Park townhouse and it was Porizkova who discovered his body.
"I found him still asleep when bringing him his Sunday morning coffee," she wrote in an Instagram post at the time. "I touched his cheek to rouse him. It was then I realized that during the night he had peacefully passed on."
The couple had been separated for two years and were in the process of divorcing but still lived with their sons, Jonathan and Oliver, now 29 and 24, respectively, Page Six noted. Shortly after Ocasek's death, Porizkova learned he had cut her out of his will.
"I have made no provision for my wife Paulina Porizkova … as we are in the process of divorcing," he wrote in his last wishes, according to Page Six. "Even if I should die before our divorce is final … Paulina is not entitled to any elective share … because she has abandoned me."
Speaking with the outlet, Porizkova described the rocker's decision to cut her from his will as a "betrayal."
"It was really, really hard because obviously, first of all, you're grieving a person that has been your whole life, the most important person in your life," she said. "There was so much pain just stacked up on top of each other … and then this betrayal was a lot."
Porizkova has since made peace with the legal ordeal, saying she has been "focusing on gratitude" and all the good times they shared together. Ocasek's "betrayal" was "part of his vindictiveness ... he still cared," she added.
Zoe Papadakis ✉
Zoe Papadakis is a Newsmax writer based in South Africa with two decades of experience specializing in media and entertainment. She has been in the news industry as a reporter, writer and editor for newspapers, magazine and websites.
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