Emily Ratajkowski is expecting her first child with husband Sebastian Bear-McClard and the couple is choosing not to know the baby's gender until their child is old enough to decide for themself. Ratajkowski revealed her pregnancy, and her view of gender, in an open letter published on Monday in Vogue's latest digital edition.
"When my husband and I tell friends that I’m pregnant, their first question after 'Congratulations' is almost always 'Do you know what you want?'" Ratajkowski wrote. "We like to respond that we won’t know the gender until our child is 18 and that they’ll let us know then."
The supermodel noted that, while most people laughed at their statement, there was truth in what they were saying.
"I like the idea of forcing as few gender stereotypes on my child as possible," she explained.
Being pregnant presented itself with possibilities more complex than identifying a baby's gender, she continued. Ratajkowski wondered who her baby would become and how her life would change. The concept left her feeling helpless and humbled.
"I understand the desire to know the gender of our fetus; it feels like the first real opportunity to glimpse who they might be," she wrote. "As my body changes in bizarre and unfamiliar ways, it’s comforting to obtain any information that might make what’s coming feel more real."
Ratajkowski shared that having a son or a daughter instilled her with a sense of fear. A daughter would face living up to unobtainable beauty ideals that could be detrimental to her self esteem. A son came with its own set of challenges.
"I've known far too many white men who move through the world unaware of their privilege, and I’ve been traumatized by many of my experiences with them. And boys too; it’s shocking to realize how early young boys gain a sense of entitlement — to girls’ bodies and to the world in general," she noted. "I’m not scared of raising a 'bad guy,' as many of the men I’ve known who abuse their power do so unintentionally. But I’m terrified of inadvertently cultivating the carelessness and the lack of awareness that are so convenient for men."
Ratajkowski’s apprehensions were why she did not like the idea of "forcing gender-based preconceptions" onto people and babies.
"I want to be a parent who allows my child to show themself to me," she wrote. "And yet I realize that while I may hope my child can determine their own place in the world, they will, no matter what, be faced with the undeniable constraints and constructions of gender before they can speak or, hell, even be born."
Ratajkowski also admitted she felt "completely and undeniably helpless" when it came to her pregnancy, the changes her body was going through and who her baby would grow up to be.
"But I’m surprisingly unbothered," she added. "Instead of feeling afraid, I feel a new sense of peace. I’m already learning from this person inside my body. I’m full of wonder."
Zoe Papadakis ✉
Zoe Papadakis is a Newsmax writer based in South Africa with two decades of experience specializing in media and entertainment. She has been in the news industry as a reporter, writer and editor for newspapers, magazine and websites.
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