Actress AnnaLynne McCord is speaking out about her dissociative identity disorder diagnoses.
Speaking in an interview with "Good Morning America" on Friday, the former "90210" star opened up about her struggles with the disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder, and how past trauma triggered it.
"I wanted to die for so much of my life, I didn’t want to be here," McCord admitted. "And now I wake up every day and I say thank you I’m alive again."
Dissociative identity disorder is characterized by the existence of two or more distinct identities, according to the American Psychiatric Association. The disorder is associated with overwhelming experiences, traumatic events, or abuse that occurred in childhood.
For years, McCord, who said she is a victim of past sexual abuse, struggled with symptoms of dissociative identity disorder but it was only when her past trauma was triggered while filming a rape scene in the reboot of "90210" that she realized she needed help.
"My whole body like just went into panic mode as if I was living out my life on camera," McCord said. "These moments were coming to light through my work. I didn’t understand anything about the mind or the brain at the time, I was just trying to do my job and I couldn’t. And it was very scary ... I found a way out."
The incident prompted McCord to seek treatment for trauma and was eventually able to unlock the pain she had hidden away.
"I had to put into a bubble all of the dangerous, toxic, harmful memories locked it away," she explained.
McCord revealed her diagnoses in a post for Dr. Daniel Amen's blog, Amen Clinics. Speaking candidly, the 33-year-old recalled being "co-conscious" of the split at age 13. Referring to her younger self as "little Anna," McCord recalled her being an "anarchist from hell who will stab you with the spike ring that she wears, and you’ll like it."
McCord added that "little Anna" was "a nasty little creature," but she felt nothing but gratitude for her because "she got me out of the hell that I was in" at the time.
Looking ahead, McCord is hoping to fight the stigma surrounding dissociative identity disorder.
"I am absolutely uninterested in shame. There is nothing about my journey that I invite shame into anymore, and that’s how we get to the point where we can articulate the nature of these pervasive traumas and stuff, as horrible as they are," she said.
"The brain doesn’t care about quality of life," McCord added to "GMA." "It just cares about going on to continue living. I want my quality of life to get better and that’s why I stepped into this healing process - I want to thrive."
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Zoe Papadakis ✉
Zoe Papadakis is a Newsmax writer based in South Africa with two decades of experience specializing in media and entertainment. She has been in the news industry as a reporter, writer and editor for newspapers, magazine and websites.
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