California's Proposed Roadkill Bill Would Redefine 'Roadside Dining'

The legislature has taken time out from micromanaging the economy and saving the world from Global Warming to let drivers eat what they kill.

Under the headline “You kill, you grill it?” The Sacramento Bee reports that State Sen. Bob J. Archuleta, (D-Bush Meat) has introduced SB 395: “That bill would amend state law, as well as the Fish and Game Code, to allow drivers of vehicles that fatally strike an animal to retroactively apply for a wildlife salvage permit, at no cost, within 24 hours of the collision.”

This brings up a very pertinent question. What kind of bureaucratic busybodies would require a permit to “salvage” roadkill in the first place? And who issues the permit? Fish & Wildlife? Food Safety? Department of Transportation?

A closely related question is what could possibly have prompted the law? It’s a simple matter to understand why laws against murder, theft, or arson were passed. Prohibiting speeding, drag racing, and parking in handicapped zones are also logical prohibitions well suited to the passage of a law.

But eating roadkill? Were restaurants outraged that potential diners were filling up on dogs and cats that had lost a step over the years? Were poachers keeping the neighbors awake as they revved their engines while waiting for a six-point buck to enter the crosswalk?

And who is it reporting that kind of violation? A guardrail gourmand who arrived at the body-snatching site a few seconds too late?

It certainly wasn’t next of kin.

Archuleta’s bill, in a burst of liberty unusual for a California lawmaker, also allows “non-drivers who come across roadkill to salvage the dead animal.” This is where we think citizens should demand some disclosure. It would be very informative if the names of everyone applying for a “salvage” permit were posted on a government website.

We would certainly consult it regularly and should any of our friends be on the list we’d ask to see grocery receipts before sampling a meat dish at their house.

This bill cleans up, if you will, a significant contradiction in existing state law. Under current law killing an animal accidentally with a vehicle isn’t against the law. What is against the law is cleaning up after yourself. Until Archuleta’s bill passes, only certified state bureaucrats can perform cleanup operations.

Evidently there is a real bounty on the shoulders of California highways and byways, just waiting for a social justice warrior to stop on the roadside and declare, “Soup’s On!” The text of the bill explains, “This translates into hundreds of thousands of pounds of healthy meat that could be utilized to feed those in need.”

To flesh out the bill’s humane intent it adds, “If an animal is severely injured but not outright killed by the vehicle, this bill also would allow the salvager to kill it ‘in a safe, legal, and humane manner.’”

We are assuming that doesn’t mean by backing up.

Michael Reagan, the eldest son of President Reagan, is a Newsmax TV analyst. A syndicated columnist and author, he chairs The Reagan Legacy Foundation. Michael is an in-demand speaker with Premiere speaker’s bureau. Read more reports from Michael Reagan — Go Here Now.

Michael R. Shannon is a commentator, researcher for the League of American Voters, and an award-winning political and advertising consultant with nationwide and international experience. He is author of "Conservative Christian’s Guidebook for Living in Secular Times (Now with added humor!)." Read more of Michael Shannon's reports — Go Here Now.