Christmas Without Mom: Despite Loss, Family Holds On Tightly to Meaning of Season

Later in the day, they'll also have dinner, as in past years, and pass out even more gifts.

The difference this time around is that party central will be an aunt's home in southwest Atlanta, instead of their apartment in the Bowen Homes public housing community where, for years, everyone gathered.

This change in venue is just one of the many adjustments this brood of 13 children, ages 2 to 18, has had to make since their mother died suddenly last year.

Two aunts and an older sister are in charge of them now, and the transition hasn't been without its rough spots. An older brother, D'Angelo, 20, lives and works in Valdosta and helps out.

As blended families living in three households, the 13 siblings have had to make the best of limited resources and establish new traditions.

"We eat, exchange gifts and laugh," Aunt Regina Moore said of the Christmas breakfast, which will be served buffet-style. "They wish their mom was here, but they seem like they are much happier this year."

Moore and her sister, Anita Perryman, took the kids in, despite each having three children of their own, when their sister, Jacqueline, died in June 1999. Since that time, the family has grown even more.

Moore, a deli worker at a Publix supermarket, is now the proud mother of a new baby boy. Her niece, 18-year-old Sandricka Newkirk, has a 1-year-old daughter, Kierra.

With all those mouths to feed, fewer gifts are under the tree this year, but the Newkirks and their cousins can expect to each get a few.

Not much outside help came this holiday season, with the exception of donations from a West Fulton Middle School teacher and the midwives at Grady Memorial Hospital, where Perryman works as a surgical tech.

"This year, we really had to come out of our pocket," said Perryman, 37. "I think from here on out, every Christmas is going to be sad for these kids.

"When [their mother] was living, they were basically getting what they wanted. It's different now. We have bills and rent we have to pay, so we can't give them like they used to get."

The family spent Thanksgiving at Moore's place, and now it's Perryman's turn to host Christmas, where everybody will come and cook and do a second round of gift opening.

They may have already received the biggest gift they could imagine – homes large enough to hold them.

Earlier this year, Moore and Perryman each moved into a six-bedroom rental house less than five miles apart. Moore has a ranch-style house in northwest Atlanta's Kings Grant community, and Perryman is in a two-story home in the West End.

While Moore is managing fine, Perryman is still struggling with skyrocketing household expenses that include utility bills as high as $700 and and a water bill covering two months of more than $1,000.

She could also use a few more beds and other items of furniture.

Still, no one is more excited about their new home than the young ones. Said 10-year-old LaTasha Newkirk: "I like it because it's enough room for all of us."

Newkirk's oldest daughter, Sanmetric, remains in the Bowen Homes with three of her younger siblings.

The 21-year-old hopes to move, too, but for now visits almost daily those who left.

Said Sanmetric, "I just miss having them around and laughing and playing with them."

As if the house and new baby weren't enough, Moore got an added surprise this Christmas – a 1989 van large enough to hold her family of nine children.

"The kids love it," she said. "Nobody needs to sit on anybody's lap anymore."