The news today is that our president is a liar, and not even a good one. President Trump today, in an attempt to explain what the Helsinki was going through his cotton candy-covered head when he stood next to Vladimir Putin, of all people, and took sides with Russia over our own American intelligence agencies, now says it was just a tiny little slip-up — even smaller than his fists. [Clip of Trump] "In a key sentence in my remarks I said the word WOULD instead of WOULDN'T. The sentence should have been, 'I don't see any reason why I wouldn't,' or 'why it wouldn't be Russia.'"

I have to say, when you said "I don't see any reason why it WOULD be Russia," for a minute it almost seemed like you were hiding something from us. Like there was something Putin knew about you that you wanted him to keep quiet. Now it all makes sense. Boy, I tell ya, Papa John must be at home right now going, “Wait, you can do that?”

What I want to know is, which genius on his team came up with this idea? Who in that administration told him it would be good? I bet it was Melania, she hates him the most.

You think about history and presidents, this is like if Bill Clinton had come out and said, "Wait, no, I meant to say I DID have sexual relations with that woman."

Even when our president was forced to sit in front of the world and make this preposterous claim that he of course knew the Russians tried to meddle with our elections, he couldn’t help but spread the blame around. [clip] "I have full faith and support for America's great intelligence agencies, always have. I have felt very strongly that while Russia's actions had no impact at all on the outcome of the election, let me be totally clear in saying that … I accept our intelligence community's conclusion that Russia's meddling in the 2016 election took place. It could be other people also. There's a lot of people out there." So maybe it wasn't the Russians at all, maybe it was the Canadians, you know? Sneaking around, drilling holes in trees. We don't know what they're up to.

Last night Trump returned home from his trip to Finland. Trump walked into the White House and immediately texted Putin that he got home safe.

After Trump threw U.S. intelligence agencies under the bus in Finland, there were protesters outside the White House shouting "Go back to Russia." But don't worry, the Secret Service was able to get Melania to quiet down.

A brewery in Finland created a special beer in honor of yesterday's Trump-Putin summit. When they heard that, some other beers wanted to commemorate the summit as well. So they released new slogans that were inspired by the meeting. Guinness' new slogan is “Things are looking dark. Your beer should, too.” Miller Lite's new slogan is “Weaker than Trump's stance on Russia.” O'Doul's new slogan is “This time with alcohol, because even we need a drink after yesterday.” And Samuel Adams' new slogan is “Take it from a Founding Father, we're screwed. Drink up.”

A couple in Florida are getting married and instead of wedding presents, they've asked for money to buy goats. Even crazier, one couple they invited was like, "Finally, a chance to regift this goat."

President Trump created a stir at a press conference with Vladimir Putin yesterday, when he said this about the hacking of the DNC server [clip of Trump]: "I have President Putin. He just said it’s not Russia. I will say this — I don’t see any reason why it would be." Well, today he set the record straight [Clip]: "In a key sentence in my remarks I said the word WOULD instead of WOULDN'T. The sentence should have been, 'I don't see any reason why I wouldn't,' or 'why it wouldn't be Russia' . . . sort of a double negative." Well, I don’t think he’s NOT an idiot.

President Trump claims that he meant to say "I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be Russia" who meddled in our election. And Melania is now saying that at their wedding she meant to say, "I don't."

President Trump said today that he misspoke during a summit with Vladimir Putin, blaming the confusion on a double negative. And Trump's an expert on double negatives [photo of Eric and Donald Jr.] because he made one.

During an interview with Vladimir Putin yesterday, Fox News host Chris Wallace tried to give Putin a copy of the indictments of 12 Russian nationals for meddling in the election. And then Putin tried to get Wallace to "Smell this cloth."

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell today warned Russia to not meddle in the upcoming midterm elections, and then he winked so hard his neck got smooth.

In honor of World Emoji Day, Apple has announced it's adding cupcake, kangaroo, and lettuce symbols. A cupcake, a kangaroo, and lettuce, or as Outback Steakhouse calls it, a salad.

The makers of Crocs have announced they're coming out with a high-heeled shoe. While the wearers of Crocs have announced they're going to give plaid shorts a try.