The president started Easter with a tweet. He wrote “HAPPY EASTER!” in all caps. Happy Easter, dammit!

Today, on the day after Easter, the White House had the 140th annual Easter Egg Roll. This has been going on since 1878 when Rutherford B. Hayes was president. This year it was different, though — Trump heard “egg roll” and promised to make the Chinese pay for it.

It was a fun day for the president. He blew the whistle, he got to eat chocolate, he even met a nice kid named Barron who he really liked.

This event is officially hosted by the first lady every year. Melania Trump joined the president on the balcony to get things going. Trump said, “I want to really thank the first lady, Melania. She worked so hard on this event.” Not a chance she did one thing to set that up. She didn't dye eggs, she didn’t fill baskets — the only thing she's been working on is an escape tunnel.

The president officially declared the month of April to be National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. At this point he's just messing with us, right? He might as well declare it National Bankrupt Casino Awareness Month.

Vladimir Putin could soon be coming to America. During their phone call last month — the one where Trump wasn't supposed to congratulate Putin — not only did Trump congratulate him, he invited his KG-BFF to a summit at the White House. It’s about time he invited the boss over for dinner.

So, this will be a nice opportunity for Putin to stop by and install a few new Nest cameras in the White House.
 

Yesterday was Easter and April Fool's. Which makes sense because Easter was the day when Jesus came back and was like, "April fool's!"

This morning, the White House hosted their annual Easter Egg Roll. When President Trump first heard there were a bunch of bunnies on the front lawn, he told his lawyer to pay them off.

At the same event, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos read a book to a group of little kids. It was a sweet moment when one of the kids said, "Sound it out, Betsy. You can do it."

President Trump has declared April National Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Which means April is also National Presidential Unawareness Month.

The movie "Ready Player One" topped the box office. It's about a world where people escape reality by playing a computer game. When Americans were asked if they'd ever be sucked into a digital world like that, they said [mimes texting on phone], “One sec. Sorry, what was that?”

Today the Yankees had to postpone their home opener because of a snowstorm. You can tell it was cold because the foot-long hot dogs were only five inches.

Khloe Kardashian says she can't wait to go to the gym after her baby is born. And every other new parent was like, “Yeah, let us know how that plan works out.”

An 80-year-old man in Arizona is on trial for robbing a bank. Apparently, he slipped the teller a note that said, "Do you know why I came in here?"

It just came out that Pope Francis once said that there is no such thing as hell. And then he got stuck in Boarding Group C on Spirit Airlines and said, “Never mind, I found it.”

During a speech at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll, President Trump touted the U.S. economy, saying we have never had an economy like we have right now. [shows screenshot of “Dow Plummets” headline] Literally the one time he wasn't in front of the TV.

According to the Financial Times, the Russian businessman who secretly met with a Trump campaign official in January 2017 has been tied directly to Vladimir Putin. Hey, Robert Mueller, how much more evidence do you need? I'm starting to feel like a little kid screaming at “Dora the Explorer” that the windmill she's looking for is right behind her. "Turn around!"

The Kremlin said today that during a phone call last month, President Trump invited Vladimir Putin to the White House for a summit. Well, I guess that makes sense. If somebody gets you a house, you’ve got to have them over.

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway today rejected reports that she is the No. 1 leaker in the Trump administration. Added Conway, “But I'll tell you who is.”

French President Emmanuel Macron said in a new interview that artificial intelligence could totally jeopardize democracy if left unchecked. But at this point, I'd be willing to try President Roomba.

According to a new report, despite his recent attacks on Amazon, President Trump's campaign spent more than $150,000 on the site. But you just can't beat the prices and service on Amazon Crime.

Costa Rica elected a 38-year-old as president this weekend who will become the country's youngest leader in history. Wow, 38. That's young enough to be our president's ex-wife.

South Korean K-pop singers performed in North Korea yesterday for the first time in over a decade in a concert entitled "Spring Is Coming." Said New Yorkers [shows image of city snowstorm], "When?!"