President Trump gave his State of the Union address, and as per tradition, someone who opposes the president gave the rebuttal. So, this year's rebuttal was given by Melania.

President Trump's approval rating is above 50 percent in just a handful of states. Those states include Georgia, Mississippi, and Denial.

Trump said he now supports a plan for young immigrants to become citizens. When asked why, Trump said, "Because I may have to look for a new wife soon."

In other White House news, a recent article revealed that Melania Trump was blindsided by the story about her husband having an affair with a porn star and that she is "furious." In fact, she was so upset, Melania chose to stay home instead of accompanying her husband to the World Economic Forum last week. Which had to be tough, because I think we all know how much Melania loves world economic forums.

I don't know if I believe this article. They said Melania was furious. How can you tell? She always looks furious.

Tonight was President Trump's first State of the Union. And I saw that Trump read his speech off a teleprompter. You could tell because he began by saying, "Applause, good evening, applause."

To make sure he stayed on track, his staff had a little Mickey Mouse head bounce over the words like a sing-along song.

But experts said it was a very historic State of the Union. You know, because it marked the first time since taking office that Trump went a full hour without tweeting.

I guess most of Trump's State of the Union address was written by his adviser, Stephen Miller. While the rest of Trump's presidency was written by Stephen King.

Tickets to the State of the Union had to be reprinted after they originally said State of the "Uniom." Even the guy who sent out that false missile alert in Hawaii was like, "How do you mess that up?"

That's not all. There was actually a message from Trump on the back of the ticket as well. Take a look. It said, "I, Donald J. Turnip, invite you to my Stape of the Onion. This will be my first hairdress to Congested, and I'll be speeching on miny imported topix, witch I'll read off a telescope. I appreesheate yer serpent."

After Trump's speech, Massachusetts Congressman Joe Kennedy became one of the youngest people to give the Democratic response. And you could tell he was young when all he said was, "He cray."

Today Amazon announced it's creating its own healthcare company. That's kind of awkward getting healthcare from Amazon. Especially when a drone flies over your house and says "Viagra for Bob. Viagra for Bob."

President Trump's State of the Union address was available to stream live. So, congrats to Logan Paul on no longer being worst thing on YouTube!

It was announced yesterday that Tom Hanks will play Mr. Rogers in a new biopic titled “You Are My Friend." And about half the men in Hollywood have already been playing Mr. McFeely.

It was reported this week that the Department of Education will launch a pilot program that puts students' federal aid money onto debit cards, so officials can monitor how students spend excess money from loans. Though if you really wanna know how they spend it, just go to a dorm and inhale.

Earlier tonight was President Trump's first State of the Union address. But there was a slight hitch leading up to it. Take a look at how they spelled State of the Union on the official tickets: State of the "Uniom." This is how divided the union is right now: We can't even agree on the correct spelling of union.

The State of the Union ran on all the major networks, but it was also live-streamed on Donald Trump's campaign website. And this is true: Anyone who donated at least one dollar to Trump's re-election got to see their names flash up on the screen during the speech. What a deal! It only cost one dollar to have Donald Trump misspell your name.

Stephen Colbert: There were some bright spots in [Trump's State of the Union] speech. There were really some heartwarming moments. Some amazing people were there in the gallery. Congressman Steve Scalise, who survived an attack on that softball field. A police officer who saved the baby, a young boy who's putting flags on soldiers' graves, the families who have gone through unspeakable tragedies. Honestly, some of the most beautiful, most impressive Americans you could imagine. And the president was there, too.

Here's one unusual thing we found out right before the speech – the first lady traveled to the speech in a separate car. I guess Melania didn't want anything from the Burger King drive-through.

At the beginning of the speech, he listed some of the natural disasters we've endured this year. [clip of Trump] "We have endured floods and fires and storms." And Stormys! Don't forget her! She was one of the most expensive disasters for you, personally.

"To everyone still recovering in Texas, Florida, Louisiana, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands – everywhere — we are with you, we love you, and we always will pull through together, always." That is going to be a comforting message to the people of Puerto Rico, once they have electricity to turn on their TVs.

And he followed up on that: "If there is a mountain, we climb it. If there is a frontier, we cross it. If there is a challenge, we tame it. If there is an opportunity, we seize it." And if there's a burger, we eat it. If there's an immigrant, we deport it. If there's an investigation, we undermine it.