Tim Hawkins’ popular song “Things you don’t say to your wife” may tickle your funny bone, but the lyrics can touch a nerve for many couples. People often find themselves saying things to their spouses that they regret later. When angry or irritated, it is easy to react with a rude remark. However, by the time one cools down, the conversation may have already caused lasting damage.
The way you speak to your spouse can lead to bitterness in your relationship. To know what not to say to your wife or what not to tell your husband, read these five pointers. Never tell your spouse anything derogatory. This will save your spouse from pain, and may even save a marriage heading down a rocky relationship road!
1.“Shut Up:”Among what not to say to your wife, this phrase is often uttered when one is angry, upset, and feeling nagged. This explosive interjection is both violent and aggressive. Even if you find yourself in the middle of a disagreement, try to solve your differences calmly. Such comments can hurt deeply. At no point should you argue with name calling.
2. “You look Fat/Ugly:”The second thing you should not say to your wife stems from a woman's consciousness about her appearance. Body and appearance judgments are a prime example of what not to tell your husband or what not to say to your wife, even if it is said offhand. Approach the matter with understanding. Instead of killing their self-esteem with a blunt remark on physical appearance, be gentle. Your spouse could be overeating for emotional reasons. Or, if your wife is inappropriately dressed, ask her to change into something you call a favorite instead. Avoid being unpleasant and save your spouse and yourself a drawn out argument or fight.
3.Unnecessary Homilies: Constantly telling your spouse what to do, and lecturing perpetually on trivial matters is another thing to avoid saying to your partner. It can cause the person to feel justly aggrieved. Save your spouse from the sermonizing heartache!
4. Rude remarks about In-Laws: His mother or her father may be patronizing, lack a sense of humor, be strict disciplinarians, or worse, try to interfere with your marriage. While the situation may get your goose, being rude to your spouse is no solution. Never tell your spouse droll, offish remarks about in-laws since this may only irritate them. Discuss any problem your in-laws may be creating in a positive, non-confrontational manner.
5. Undue criticism: Respect your partner’s ego. Belittling your spouse, especially in front of others, can make him or her feel rightly insulted. This alienation can, in turn, make your spouse act resentfully or even retaliate, leading to heated arguments.
A relationship is like porcelain — once broken, it can be rebuilt, but the crack will always show. Bitter words should be avoided when talking to your partner, since what you say while angry or sarcastic inevitably leads to distancing. Save your marriage by being polite to your spouse. Your words express your opinion of your spouse and should cement the bond the two of you share, not destroy it.
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