Why are we afraid of fear?
That is such an important question, as most of humanity spends some time in anxiety and plain fear without being quite able to articulate what's causing it.
A certain amount of fear/anxiety is totally normal and a part of life.
Without some element of fear, we would never be discerning about our environment or people. That would make us prey to whomever or whatever would like "a piece of us"!
The dark hides things; the new is unknown; change is unsettling; challenges are threatening; uncertainty is agitating; and, finally, making your own decisions is confusing.
These reactions are normal, predictable, and universal.
Ever watch meerkats at rest?
They don’t.
They're always on guard, in the cutest way, checking the environment for danger.
When we fear the fear, we deny a human experience that should be embraced for the information it gives us. We can assess whether or not our level of anxiety is objective or reasonable.
That's a discussion we can even have with ourselves.
For example, the boss texts you to a spontaneous meeting.
Panic can set in immediately as you wonder if you are in trouble or going to be axed.
First, you remember to breathe and calm yourself down. The physiological response to fear/anxiety can include sweating, hyperventilating, palpitating, or stomach upset.
Surely these reactions will ruin your day, as well as scare you even more.
So, calm it down!
Breathe.
Take two to three minutes and breathe.
Then think about what the more reasonable possibilities are: The boss wants to ask your advice about a situation or wants to compliment you, or needs information only you might have.
There might be a business issue that you are not responsible for but need to know about.
Or, you're in trouble and being axed.
The point is that there are infi nite possibilities.
Anxiety is about fear of the future.
Since there are infinite possibilities, it's impossible to really anticipate.
To some extent you have to be willing to suspend your imaginings and face a blank page.
Ultimately, we do that better when we have survival plans.
You don’t need such a plan for good news.
You'll always need a plan for unsuspected bad news.
So think.
Are you aware of employee conflict you have been experiencing?
Has your personal life interfered with your work?
Have you been less attuned to your responsibilities and schedules at work?
If any of these is a yes, then prepare to be willing to face the challenge and the consequences. Spend some time thinking about what you can do to remedy these possible problems.
Last and not least, rely on your experiences in life with disappointment and failure, rely on those in your life who help you cope, rely on your faith, and rely on your willingness to rise to whatever occasion will confront you.
Above all, when you walk into that room do not be defensive or act like a frightened bunny. Your boss needs to see a mature adult who faces the music with class and inner strength — depending on the music, of course.
Good news is just balloons.
The key to dealing with your anxiety and fears is first to acknowledge and recognize that these are human and normal experiences. Overthinking or obsessing will only result in an amplification, and you'll tear yourself apart.
Remember to breathe and calm down your mind and body.
Assess your situation to be able to focus on any points the boss might be presenting.
That does not mean dredging up lots of negative stuff.
It means that you know if there are blatant problems to be addressed.
Come up with potential solutions.
This way you are thinking about repair, not destruction.
Last, know that whatever does occur in that room, you will find a way to survive with the people who care about you.
I watched a documentary made by Arnold Schwarzenegger that was fascinating. At the end, he expressed some rage about people calling him a "self-made man."
He emphasized that he is not.
He worked unbelievably hard for everything he accomplished, but people helped him all along the way. For example, he lost first place in a Mr. Olympia body-building contest.
He was certain he would win.
The failure made him actually cry.
Then he asked the man who won first place to help train him.
I was so impressed by that.
The next year he won.
The moral of that story is that any failure or loss should be addressed as an opportunity to conquer next time if you are willing to learn how.
So go into the boss’ office excited for what that meeting can mean for a more dynamic future.
Embrace your fear.
Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Listen to Dr. Laura on SiriusXM Channel 111, Mon.–Sat. 2–6pm ET, Sun. 5–9pm ET. Read Dr. Laura's Reports — More Here.
Newsmax, August
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