The presidential debate on Monday is expected to pull in huge ratings. In fact, the whole country has “Lester Holt Fever.”
There’s a rumor that one in 10 Europeans is conceived in an Ikea bed. So people putting together Ikea furniture are at least using one tool correctly.
Media experts say Monday night’s presidential debate will have a Super Bowl-sized TV audience. Of course, the Super Bowl audience drinks for fun, but Monday’s debate audience will be drinking out of sheer terror.
Six members of the cast of “The West Wing” are going to campaign for Hillary Clinton at an event in Ohio. The move has backfired, though — now everyone in Ohio is voting for Martin Sheen.
Environmentalists are trying to get the bumblebee added to America’s endangered species list. Then they changed their minds after they were at a picnic for five minutes.
There’s a new startup in India that will deliver condoms within 30 minutes. Or as every guy calls that, “Way too late.”
You wouldn’t know it from walking around in Hollywood, but today is the first official day of fall. Autumn is upon us and summer is gone. I don’t know. It’s kind of sad. How am I supposed to pick out a Halloween costume? I didn’t have time to get bikini-ready.
Some people are trying to figure out what they’re wearing for Halloween. It’s hard for me to relate to. If you’re looking for a political costume, I saw this online, you can be Sexy Hillary Clinton. It’s just Hillary with no pants on. That’s how she got pneumonia, by the way. Or you can be Sexy Donald Trump — or maintain a shred of dignity and be neither of them for Halloween.
The only person I can imagine dressing up as Sexy Donald Trump for Halloween is Donald Trump himself.
And neither Sexy Trump nor Sexy Clinton is half as disturbing as Sexy Bernie Sanders. He distributes the candy evenly throughout the neighborhood.
Yahoo today announced that at least 500 million user accounts have been hacked, which would be one of the biggest cyber security breaches ever. They got information from 500 million people who are still inexplicably using Yahoo.
They believe it was by a state-sponsored actor like Russia or North Korea, or maybe the Belgians are up to something. Whatever country it was is unaware no one has signed up for a Yahoo account since 1996.
They’re offering the debate in virtual reality, so if you want to feel like you’re actually on stage during the debate, here’s your chance, Jeb.
Trump was actually describing himself in an interview this week and said that his strongest suit is his temperament. Although sadly, even that suit is made in China.
Singer Marilyn Manson recently said he doesn’t plan on voting, because he doesn’t like Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump. That story, again — the 2016 election: Too scary for Marilyn Manson.
A letter written by George Washington in 1786 is going on sale for $35,000. The letter is to a friend and says, “Don’t tell anyone, but I was born in Kenya.”
Fashion designer Ralph Lauren is working on an autobiography. You can buy it full price at any of his stores or just wait until it is half price in a bin at T.J. Maxx.
Sen. Elizabeth Warren said yesterday that Donald Trump is too chicken to release his tax returns. Too chicken? I don’t know. He looks more like ham to me.
Donald Trump said yesterday that there will be a great place for former presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson in his administration if he wins. Although I’m guessing it won’t be secretary of energy.
A new poll has found that almost 70 percent of voters say they have concerns about Donald Trump’s rhetoric. And the other 30 percent said [shows photo of Trump’s sons], “Which one’s Rhetoric?”
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg announced a $3 billion initiative yesterday, to cure or manage all diseases within the next lifetime. Hopefully to include whatever disease it is that makes my aunt think I want to play Candy Crush Saga.
Amazon in Japan is now offering a priest delivery service for Buddhists who don’t have a local temple. The box may look empty when it arrives, but after you gaze into it you realize the priest was inside you all along.