A New York Times exposé on Donald Trump reveals some pretty questionable interactions with women. Including claims that when Trump ran the Miss USA Pageant, he would frequently rate women's appearances right to their faces while they just stood there. Which is really sexist. And also pretty much the definition of any beauty pageant.
The article makes the point that Donald Trump has hired many women to run his businesses and even quotes him as saying, "A good woman is better than 10 good men." And Hillary was like, "Thanks for the new campaign slogan."
A restaurant in Lithuania is stirring up controversy by displaying a mural on its wall that shows Donald Trump kissing Vladimir Putin. Trump said he's not mad that it shows him kissing a man, he's mad that it shows him kissing someone over 40.
A group of alleged mobsters were just arrested in New York and their nicknames included Grandpa, Baldy, Lazy Eye and Fat Sal. Which are the same nicknames Trump gave his possible running mates.
Audio has surfaced showing that in the 1980s and '90s Donald Trump may have used a fake name to pose as his own publicist. Or, maybe a little-known publicist named John Miller used a fake name to pose as a New York real estate mogul and run for president.
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said yesterday that Donald Trump will “have to answer for” his behavior towards women. Said Trump, “I’ll have my girl write something up.”
Former Republican hopeful John Kasich said today that “somebody” had called him to encourage him to run as a third-party candidate, but declined to say who. Oh my God, John, the calls are coming from inside the house!
Tomorrow is the Kentucky Democratic Primary. And, in an act of desperation, Bernie is now going by "Colonel Sanders."
Australian officials have announced that they are sending their Olympic athletes to the summer games in Rio with condoms that are resistant to Zika virus. Begging the question: What event is that?
Today it was announced that a Russian man will be the recipient of the world's first head transplant. It sounds like they're going to put a new head on his body, but they're not. They're going to take his head and put it on another body and hope that it doesn't reject it. It sounds like there are a million things that could go wrong. But it's actually a billion.
A head transplant was last tried on a monkey in 1970. And it went so well they didn't try it again for four decades.
Could you imagine getting a new body and then looking in the mirror and being like, "Seriously? A butterfly tattoo? That's not so — wait what is this, what is this slogan — Trump 2016! What? No."
The patient is Russian. But the operation has to be done in China because apparently everything is assembled in China.
Despite the fact that it was freezing here today, climate scientists say that April was the hottest month on record. It was so hot, Donald Trump tried to make out with it.
The New York Times emailed a news alert reading: "Special report: Donald Trump has repeatedly unnerved women in private encounters over 40 years." Unnerving women for 40 years? That implies there were 29 years where he was not unnerving women. I'm going to want a fact check.
The article goes on to detail how Trump bragged about his sexual prowess, as well as his daughter's hotness, and had a preoccupation with women's bodies. Which means Trump could be the first president to appoint an actual "federal bikini inspector."
This "special report" really isn't that special. I look forward to more obvious headlines like: "Pope Is Catholic," "Bear Defecation Discovered in Woods," and "Beauty Pageant Owner Objectifies Women."