We have New Jersey governor Chris Christie on the show tonight, which means right now, Donald Trump is unlocking his basement going, "Oh, no, he escaped."

I saw that Jeb Bush is going back to giving speeches after his failed run for the Republican nomination. He's actually a very talented motivational speaker, because after you listen to his life story, you feel great about yourself.

An STD clinic in Los Angeles is copying Bernie Sanders' campaign slogan to advertise its testing services. "Feel the burn? Freestdtest.org." Makes sense because just like STDs, Bernie's campaign is super popular on college campuses.

Tesla unveiled its new model 3 electric car. And I saw that fans were camping outside Tesla stores to reserve one. Camping out is actually great practice for when their cars run out of power 30 miles from the nearest outlets.