"Star Wars" fans started lining up for "The Force Awakens" 12 days early. If you see people in LA sitting on the sidewalk in robes muttering about space ships, they might be "Star Wars" fans.
Donald Trump said he would not put Muslims in internment camps. He said they would all stay at his luxurious new "Trump Hotel and Internment Resort."
A new report claims ISIS has been using American weapons in their fight against the United States. The weapons include tanks, rifles, and Donald Trump.
Dick Cheney said Donald Trump’s comments yesterday go against everything America stands for. Cheney said, "In other words, he’s got my full support."
Pope Francis is launching a campaign he calls the "Revolution of Tenderness." It’s the first papal decree in history to be named after a Marvin Gaye album.
Last week was the 23rd anniversary of the first text message. Coincidentally, it was also the 23rd anniversary of the first rear-end collision.
Donald Trump said he could call Bill Gates and ask him to close down the Internet. Then Bill Gates said he could call Donald Trump and explain how the Internet actually works.
Yesterday ABC released the bios of the 28 women who will be competing for “The Bachelor's” love. Twenty-eight women in three different poses. Pose No. 1, hands below the waist. Pose No. 2, one hand on the hip. And the third pose, two hands on the hips. Same way they made Barbie dolls. They only have four points of articulation.
Don't let those sorority photos fool you. These women wish each other misery and death.
The most popular reality TV show in America right now is Donald Trump's campaign for president. Trump, yesterday, proposed a "total and complete shutdown" of Muslims coming into the United States. Even former Vice President Dick Cheney said the ban goes against everything we believe in. And this is a guy who shot one of his friends.
Bernie Sanders just unveiled a new climate change plan, and he promised to cut back on fossil fuels. Bernie really wants to cut down on fossil fuels — especially because they're made from his high school friends.
Donald Trump got a lot of people upset when he released a statement yesterday that called for a ban on Muslims entering the United States, and even Dick Cheney said he’d gone too far. You know it's bad when Dick Cheney steps in to say, "Come on, have a heart, any heart."
The New York Times analyzed the 95,000 words that Trump used in speeches last week and found patterns that aren't common in most presidents' speeches. Apparently Abraham Lincoln never insulted Rosie O'Donnell.
The White House pastry chef made a 500-pound dark chocolate gingerbread White House. Obama was like, "Uh, but you made a REGULAR gingerbread house for all the OTHER presidents...”
Donald Trump said that the United States should block all Muslims from entering the country. He said that in fact, the only reason we should ever allow ANYONE to come here from ANY country is to marry him.
President Obama reportedly met Hillary Clinton yesterday for a secret lunch at the White House. And then when lunch ended, Hillary said, “OK, thanks for coming over.”
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show aired tonight on CBS. Normally, you’d have to watch the Food Network to see that many oily ribs.
Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said yesterday that he will become a “part-time vegetarian” to cut down his carbon footprint. If you’re wondering what a part-time vegetarian is, it’s someone who eats meat.
Apple has unveiled new case for the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6s that costs $100 and can provide the phone with as much as 25 hours of additional battery life. Which raises the total amount of battery life to 25 and a half hours.