At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in that speech. It was the part of the speech where he was just reading Craigslist personals.
In South Florida, Shaquille O'Neal has been sworn in as a reserve police officer. Personally, I can't wait until he works undercover.
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg fell asleep during Obama's speech. She woke up with the other justices drawing a gavel on her face.
Today is National Hugging Day. It's a day that encourages people to hug more often. Why they have it in the middle of cold and flu season, I have no idea. I don't know if it was sponsored by Theraflu or what.
A-Rod — Alex Rodriguez — has reportedly training with none other than Barry Bonds to prepare for the upcoming baseball season. They're either training together or forming a league of baseball super-villains, I'm not sure which.
A-Rod was suspended last season for using performance-enhancing drugs and Barry Bonds is the godfather of that. This is baseball's version of when Jesse Pinkman got out of rehab on "Breaking Bad" and started working with Walter White again. Why would A-Rod do that, and how is it even possible that both their heads fit in the same room?
Kim Kardashian is releasing a book of selfies. They do say, "Write what you know." So the book is called "Selfish." The description on the publisher's website refers to Kim as a trailblazer of the selfie movement. Selfie movement? — this book is the whole selfie movement, OK? Other than that, there's no movement.
Last night was the State of the Union address, and everyone’s excited about the huge special appearance by a guy we haven't seen in a really long time: 2008 Barack Obama. That guy had swagger.
The president took a moment to wish astronaut Scott Kelly luck on his upcoming yearlong mission in space, and even said, “Make sure to Instagram it.” Obama loves Instagram because after six years with Biden it’s the one thing he can still put a filter on.
First lady Michelle Obama wore a suit to the State of the Union last night that apparently had also been worn by Julianna Margulies’ character on the “The Good Wife.” They both wore the same outfit, which is why Obama just passed an executive action ordering Us Weekly to say Michelle wore it better.
A new helicopter service called Gotham Air is now offering users cheap flights from Manhattan to JFK or Newark airports that start at just $99. If there's two words I trust together in the same sentence, it's “cheap” and “helicopter.”
Last night President Obama gave the State of the Union address, and I just have to say that I don't know what union he was describing. But I want to live there. I want to move. It sounds outstanding. There's a middle class. They have small businesses. It sounds great.
There's a new study out. We love new studies. We genuinely get excited about new studies, mostly because we don't have time to study things. We just want people to do the studies, and deliver us the results. And then we can, you know, make merry about them.
A new study suggests that having one glass of wine every night can have a positive effect on heart health. And no, Aunt Rita, they didn't say anything about the size of the glass. I'm sure your heart's fine by now, Aunt Rita. I hate when I use my time here to unload on Aunt Rita, but . . .
Yesterday a baby was born on a New York-bound flight three hours before landing. Serious question: Would you rather ride next to a baby a whole flight, or have the first half of the flight no baby but then the actual birthing of a baby? Because again, that's three hours of peace where there's just no baby. I'd like to see a study about that.