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Tuesday Jan 20 2015

The Tonight Show Starring with Conan

A new study revealed Vermont businesses could benefit financially by legalizing marijuana. And by Vermont businesses I mean specifically Ben & Jerry's.

One of the latest trends is Starbucks weddings. That occurs when the line at Starbucks is so long you actually have time to meet someone, fall in love, and marry while you're there.

A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza. The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat.

Comedy Central announced they're going to be roasting Justin Bieber. The Bieber roast will start on March 7 and end sometime in June. There's a lot there.



The Tonight Show Starring with Kimmel

Today was the first day you could file a tax return. If you filed a tax return today, congratulations, nerd.

People who file their taxes on the first day are the grown-up version of the kids who ask the teacher for extra homework in school.

The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they'll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you're at it, too.

There's a viral video of a girl twerking in a moving car. She ends up falling out of the car. Hopefully she's covered by twerker's compensation.



The Tonight Show Starring with Jimmy Fallon

Tonight President Obama gave the State of the Union address. Obama said he was more relaxed just because he's already done it so many times. Incidentally, Mitt Romney said the same thing about running for president.

The Obamas invited 22 guests to the speech, including a former Cuban prisoner, an astronaut, and a doctor. Either that or he was setting up the weirdest bar joke of all time.

There are reports that over 25 years after his death, the Liberace Foundation is working on a tour that features a hologram of Liberace. Even weirder, Hologram Liberace was one of the 22 people Obama invited to the State of the Union.

During a conference yesterday, Pope Francis spoke about birth control and said that Catholics don't have to breed like, quote, “rabbits.” The Pope knew it was getting out of hand when he had to baptize babies with a hose.



The Tonight Show Starring with Seth Meyers

Today Kim Kardashian revealed the cover photo for her new book “Selfish.” So if you love Kim Kardashian, and you love books . . . Well, no you don’t.

A new survey shows that most people trust Google more as a source for current events than traditional news outlets. Traditional news outlets didn't believe the news until they Googled it.

The British tabloid, The Mirror, published a story about a woman who faked her own death to break off a relationship after the man wouldn't leave her alone. Ahh, yes, the old "It's not you, I'm dead" approach.


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