Wednesday May 01 2013
Martha Stewart told Matt Lauer on the "Today" show that she is looking for a man on Match.com. You would think it'd be easy for someone like Martha Stewart, but it is not. It's tough for her. A lot of guys don't want to get involved with an ex-con.
In baseball news, the Chicago Cubs said they will move if improvements are not made to Wrigley Field. And today Wrigley Field said it will move if improvements are not made to the Chicago Cubs.
The U.S. government apparently spent millions of dollars in cash to fund various dubious government projects in Afghanistan — including solar panels and wind farms that never work. No, I'm sorry. That's what we did here. I had it backwards.
Researchers now believe the first settlers who settled in America, in Jamestown, resorted to cannibalism. The first settlers ate each other. Good thing that didn’t catch on. That would have changed Thanksgiving, don’t you think?
More news keeps coming out about Jason Collins, the NBA player who revealed he's gay. It turns out he's a free agent looking for someone to sign him. He's got some interest from Chicago. Not the Bulls, the Broadway musical.
Domino's Pizza customers can now order a pizza and watch it being made online. A spokesperson for Domino's said this way their customers can see exactly what went wrong.
The Chicago Cubs are considering leaving Wrigley Field if they don't get a bigger scoreboard. Then someone reminded the Cubs for the amount of runs they get, they don't need a scoreboard.
A new study reveals that up to 41 percent of college graduates are working in jobs that don't require a degree. By the way, I'm one of them.
Martha Stewart has signed up with Match.com, the dating thing. And she's been taking dating tips from the CEO of Match.com. And I thought, "Wait a minute. That's insider dating."
In New York City every year, we have the Tony Awards. We carry them right here on CBS. To make them more exciting, CBS has renamed them the "Jimmies."
There's another new category this year in the Tony Awards — best performance by a guy dragged against his will to a Broadway show.
It's been two years since the SEAL team busted in and got Osama bin Laden. On the night of the raid, the guy never knew what hit him. It's like being married to a Kardashian.
Martha Stewart is on the prowl. Martha Stewart is now on Match.com. She's 71, and says she's looking for a man between 55 and 70 and is not looking to have kids. What 70-year-old woman is looking to have kids?
Martha says she's a fan of the symphony, opera, and rap. I like that. She spent three months in prison and all of a sudden she's Tupac listening to rap.
What kind of rap does Martha Stewart like? Gift wrap.
We ran all her information and we determined the best match for Martha. We looked to find someone who's single, successful, likes kids, age appropriate, athletic, and knows what is it's like to go through a scandal. I think we were able to find the right man. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Vice President Joe Biden’s plane is apparently stuck in Arizona because of problems with its engine. Officials say they're trying to fix it as fast as they can. But Obama was like, “No rush.”
An elementary school here in New York City has become the first school in the country to serve only vegetarian food. Apparently the school board wants to give kids a head start in being difficult at restaurants.
That’s right. A school is serving only vegetarian foods, like tofu. Now when bullies say, “Give me your lunch money,” students are like, “Here, take it.”
The FDA has just ruled that girls as young as 15 can now obtain the contraceptive Plan B without a prescription. Before that, most teenagers’ Plan B was getting a show on MTV.