Monday Feb 04 2013
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
So deer antler spray works. How about that! Congratulations to the Baltimore Ravens, the new Super Bowl champs. But how about that blackout? That’s what happens when Beyoncé actually sings live.
When the lights first went out, out of force of habit Ray Lewis started running from security.
Congratulations to coach Harbaugh — and to coach Harbaugh, better luck next time.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said he would like to become the first Iranian to go into space. And today Israel said, "Flight's on us! No problem. We've got everything covered."
I lost $200 on last night's Super Bowl. I bet on electricity. I thought that was a sure-fire bet. It never goes out during the Super Bowl.
During the Super Bowl there was a 35-minute blackout. Afterwards Lindsay Lohan said, "So that wasn't just me."
After the game, Baltimore quarterback Joe Flacco announced his wife is pregnant. Apparently he went against NFL rules and impregnated the woman that he is married to.
U.S. employers just added 157,000 jobs to the economy. Of course, most of those were for backup dancers for Beyoncé.
Late Show with David Letterman
Congratulations to the Baltimore Ravens. And congratulations to Ravens coach John Harbaugh. He was named the game's most valuable Harbaugh.
Everybody is talking about the Super Bowl's big power failure. I'm talking about the 49ers defense.
The power outage during the Super Bowl lasted XXXIV minutes.
A power outage during a Super Bowl in Louisiana — but don't worry. FEMA said they will be there no later than Thursday.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Excuse me if I seem tired. I just got back from New Orleans. I have a pretty bad gumbo hangover.
What a Super Bowl that was. During the first quarter, Will Ferrell was sitting a few rows in front of me. Channing Tatum was over here and Jay-Z was over there. There were so many important people that I kept waiting for someone to tell me to leave.
There was a power outage that is still not officially explained. When the lights first went out, it was kind of scary. They thought they'd pop back on, and we'd see one of announcers slumped over with a knife in the back.
I was with a bunch of CBS people when the lights went out. They were freaking out because when it gets dark around CBS, Dan Marino gets a little frisky.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Last night was one of the highest rated Super Bowls ever, with 108 million people watching. This year’s game added $430 million to the New Orleans economy — apparently none of which was used to pay the electric bill.
The lights in the Superdome went out for 33 minutes at the beginning of the third quarter. The 49ers were just standing around on the field, not knowing what to do — and then the blackout happened.
The lights went out in the third quarter, which is weird because normally I don't experience a blackout until after a Super Bowl party.
On Saturday Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow. And you know what that means — nothing, because that's not how weather works.