Friday Nov 30 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Are you sick and tired of hearing the term “fiscal cliff”? people don’t understand it. It doesn’t tell you how serious the situation is. They need more colorful metaphors. Here’s how to explain it: "It's 4 a.m. for our economy and Lindsay Lohan is behind the wheel." That says danger. People understand that.
Lindsay Lohan was arrested for assault in New York City after she punched another woman in the face at a bar at 4 o’clock in the morning. It does not look good for Lindsay. Because of her previous arrest, if convicted she could face some serious jail minutes.
The good news for Lindsay is at least this incident has drawn attention away from her portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Jeff Zucker, the former head of NBC, is taking over CNN. And today Wolf Blitzer announced in five years he's stepping aside for Conan O'Brien.
Today is a holiday in Scotland — St. Andrews Day. I'm Scottish. I was hoping CBS would give me the day off. But of course they didn't. That's like making George Washington work on the 4th of July. That's like making the Octomom work on Mother's Day.
It's like making Donald Trump work on April Fool's day.