Friday Oct 26 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Here is something scary. Yesterday they found 42 dead bats. You know where? The Detroit Tigers dugout.
President Obama is now getting some criticism for calling Mitt Romney a B.S.’er. I don’t think that means “big spender."
Donald Trump has been fired from managing the upscale condominium in New York City known as "Trump Place." The condominium board fired him. Finally a job loss Obama can be happy about.
It’s now reported that Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to star in another “Conan” movie. In this one, Conan has a son with the woman who cleans his castle.
Late Show with David Letterman
Are you excited about Halloween? People go out pretending to be something they're not, looking for handouts. It's like running for president.
You know who is celebrating a birthday? Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He'll be 55 years old on Sunday. The United States has put severe sanctions on his cake.
One year I bought Ahmadinejad one of those coffee mugs that you can get printed up. I got him a coffee mug with the slogan "World's Greatest Anti-Semite."
People say Ahmadinejad hates his birthday, and for some reason every year when he has a birthday, it puts him in a bad mah-mood.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
The movie "Cloud Atlas" opens today. Tom Hanks is in it. In "Toy Story," he played a cowboy. In "Saving Private Ryan," he played a soldier. In "Cast Away," he played a shirtless hairy dude. If he plays a Native American, he'll have achieved something called "the Village People grand slam."
Tom Hanks' movies have made a fortune. In total, $4 billion at the box office. To give you an idea how much that is, take the movies I've made at their box office and add $4 billion.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Weather forecasters are now referring to Hurricane Sandy as “Frankenstorm” because it will fall on Halloween. Unfortunately, they don’t have any more info on the storm because they spent the last four days coming up with that cool name.
There are rumors circulating that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are about to get engaged. You can tell they're getting serious. Last week they were seen at a jewelry store shopping for publicity.