President Obama has been explaining his healthcare plan to senior citizens, and yesterday at a town hall meeting, he promised the crowd that he will not “pull the plug on grandma.” There was an awkward moment when grandpa stood up and booed.
The President of ABC is being criticized because he recently said that Paula Abdul is a huge talent – and that if Fox doesn’t want her, ABC “would love to get a piece of that.” When they heard this, women’s groups were shocked and said, “Did he just call Paula Abdul ‘a huge talent?’”
Nissan announced that they’ve developed a new car that gets 367 miles per gallon. It’s called the Nissan Fred Flintstone.
In a related story, Toyota just announced their new car will get 500 mpg, plant rainforests, and give birth to endangered pandas.
It’s hot in August. August got its name from the Roman emperor, August. Augustus must have been a good emperor because he got a whole month named after him. All Julius Caesar got was a salad.
Rome was founded by the twins Romulus and Remis. They were like the Olsen twins, if the Olsen twins built their own town, and it lasted for a thousand years.
Think about it: In about 2,000 years there might be a month called Mary-Kate.
I can never remember the name of the other one . . . I think it’s Mary-Kate and Osama.
At a town hall meeting yesterday, President Obama tried to make a point about private companies and the government providing the same service. He said UPS and FedEx are doing fine, it’s the post office that’s always having problems. That’s probably going to anger some postal workers . . . but what’s the worst that could happen?
At the same meeting, he said twice that the AARP has endorsed his healthcare plan though they haven’t. He’s probably thinking of that other senior citizens group . . . Congress.
A new study says men with symmetrical faces are less likely to suffer from dementia. That’s bad news for Picasso’s latest model, Jeff.
In Florida an 87-year-old grandmother was bitten by a rattlesnake. Then she killed the snake with her bare hands. Even PETA was like, “Make yourself a belt out of it, lady!”