Wednesday Oct 17 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Larry King is moderating a presidential debate between third-party candidates on the Internet. That could be awkward. Most Americans have never heard of these candidates. And Larry King has never heard of the Internet.
Everyone on TV has said everything there is to say about the last presidential debate, so there's no political commentary here. Tuning into this show for political commentary is like watching Bravo to learn about sports. Or like going to Larry King for marital advice.
They say $100 million worth of priceless art was stolen from a museum in Holland. Though if it's $100 million worth of priceless art, it is not really priceless, is it?
The FBI actually has an art theft unit. If CBS ever makes a show out of this heist, the FBI guy would say, "Thieves steal paintings to get rich. Let's bust 'em so they wind up 'baroque.'" Hey, that's a proper joke right there.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Did anyone in this room watch the debate last night, the presidential debate? I didn't like it. I thought it was uncomfortable. I don't know why they have to argue all the time.
The whole thing was very tense, sometimes passive aggressive. Just like being with your family at Thanksgiving. In fact, I think they officially kicked the holiday season off last night with the debate.
A CNN poll today said that 46 percent of viewers who watched thought Obama won and 39 percent thought Mitt Romney won. So, it looks like Obama's strategy of staying awake through this one paid off.
The format of the debate was a town hall meeting. Before last night, I didn't know town hall meetings were a real thing. I thought they made them up for movies like "Footloose."
The questions last night came from undecided voters, and what a group they were. Basically these were the people who still cash checks at the supermarket.