Thursday Oct 04 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
The consensus is that Mitt Romney won the presidential debate last night. The only people who thought Obama won were the replacement refs.
They’re saying close to 60 million people may have watched the debate. In fact, the only person who didn’t tune in was President Obama.
President Obama talked last night about finding other sources of energy for the future. Other sources? He couldn't muster up enough energy for the 90-minute debate!
To make matters worse, last night was President Obama's wedding anniversary. Let me tell you something. The only way his anniversary could've been worse is if he'd forgotten it.
At one point last night, President Obama said the one thing about being president is learning to say no. Especially when someone asks, "Do you feel ready for this debate?"
Mitt Romney went after PBS last night. It's about time someone went after those guys. It's about time someone took some starch out of their collars.
During last night's debate, Mitt Romney said he would cut funds to PBS even though he loves Big Bird. And he said he's definitely against whatever Bert and Ernie are up to.
There was a coin toss to see which candidate would speak first. There was an awkward moment just before the coin toss when Romney asked, "What's that shiny little disk you're holding?"
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Most analysts think Mitt Romney won the debate last night. Which means President Obama lost two fights on his anniversary last night.
The president seemed a little bit out of it last night. He had all the enthusiasm of a husband talking to his wife's friends at a dinner party.
The only thing that could have salvaged the president's performance would have been if the body of bin Laden fell from the ceiling onto the stage.
Moderator for the debate last night was Jim Lehrer of PBS, and Jim was as in control of this evening as a replacement referee.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
During last night's debate Mitt Romney said that he loves Big Bird. What made it even more awkward was that the question was, "Can you explain your tax plan?"
Last night was the first presidential debate at the University of Denver. Of course, a lot of big names didn't show up for the event — Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, President Obama.
It was not a good night for the president. In fact, the president seemed to give long-winded, disjointed answers during last night's debate. Even Gary Busey was like, "Dude, you've got to focus."
Jim Lehrer had trouble making sure the candidates stuck to the rules last night. Even NFL replacement refs were like, "This guy's a disaster!"