Friday Sep 21 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within. So what is he saying — that if we want real change, we should throw him out?
Obama has gone from "Yes we can." to "I'm sorry. No one can."
Mitt Romney's campaign released his 2011 tax return. Democrats still want him to release all his tax returns for the last 10 years. Romney says he can't do it, and he's got a good excuse. He says his dog ate them and then Obama ate the dog.
The economy is so bad, instead of Secret Service protection, the White House is using replacement refs to guard President Obama.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
It's been a tough week for Mitt Romney. He must be thinking, "Why did I have to say that." I know how he feels. I feel like that every night.
A new poll says 75 percent of Americans feel little or no personal connection to Mitt Romney. And it gets worse. The poll was of his family.
Clint Eastwood has won so many awards, it's easier to name the awards he hasn't won, The Soul Train Award — I think that's about it.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
President Obama's campaign is trying to appeal to single women in Florida over 65. Which explains Obama's new slogan, "Hope, change, and Boniva."
Mitt Romney just released a new campaign ad aimed at seniors too. It's called, "Least we can do" — named after how much he plans on doing for seniors.
New documents show that Mitt Romney's campaign is $11 million in debt. First Romney's advisers had to explain that he was running out of money. Then they had to explain to him what running out of money means.