Thursday Aug 23 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
They're now worried that Tropical Storm Isaac could hit Florida during next week's Republican convention. But Florida is ready for it. Thanks to President Obama's economic policies, many businesses down there are already boarded up.
Actually, Mitt Romney and Hurricane Isaac have something in common. They can both change directions at any moment.
Rest assured, no matter how high those winds get, not a single hair on Romney's or Paul Ryan's head will move. They have guaranteed that.
It’s now being reported that Joe Biden will go to the Republican convention to try to cause problems for Mitt Romney. Then after that, he will go to the Democratic convention where he will definitely cause problems for President Obama.
Late Show with David Letterman
There's no bigger star in basketball today than LeBron James. Nike gets together with LeBron James and they designed a new shoe for $315.
Nike had an explanation for the reason these shoes are so expensive. They said the kids in China making the shoes are demanding two cents a day now.
They're the perfect shoes for when you're walking away from Cleveland.
Kelly Ripa has hired a co-host, and it's Michael Strahan. They had about 90 potential candidates, and Strahan was only one to release 10 years of his tax records.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Tropical Storm Isaac is expected to develop into a hurricane in the next few days. Unfortunately, the Republican National Convention starts in Florida on Monday. The National Weather Service says the storm could reach category 5, which is strong enough to move Mitt Romney's part to the other side of his head.
The Obama campaign announced that theirs will be the first political campaign to accept donations via text message. The president is hoping it's a way to engage grass-roots supporters to give money. A friend of mine tried to donate money and ended up voting for Sanjaya.
Khloe Kardashian got in an accident. She was on the freeway and rear ended someone. There was no little or no damage. On a scale of 1-to-Lohan, it was a 2.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
CNN plans to air a 90-minute documentary on Mitt Romney before the Republican National Convention. Yeah, 90 minutes of Mitt Romney. Even Red Bull is like, “This is outta my league, bro.”
President Obama’s supporters can now text the word “GIVE” to donate up to $50 dollars to his campaign, although it's frustrating when autocorrect keeps changing it to “Fix the economy.”
A new report found that full-frontal nudity on prime-time TV has increased 6,000 percent over the last year. Especially on that one sitcom, "The Fresh Prince Harry."
New research found that people who wake up early are more productive than people who sleep in. Or as Congress put it, “Whoa — is it noon already?”