Friday Aug 17 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Mitt Romney is predicting that as president, he will create 12 million jobs in his first term. Well, President Obama says a Romney presidency would result in lost jobs. Yeah, his and Biden's.
President Obama said today he's working on a plan to release oil before November to lower gas prices. It will be released from our strategic election reserves.
President Obama said today he is sticking with Joe Biden. Which means one of two things — either he thinks Biden is doing a good job or Hillary said no.
Opening today is "The Expendables 2." Don't confuse it with the film that stars Melky Cabrera, Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, and Roger Clemens. That's "The Injectables."
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
A new study found that about one percent of the U.S. population is allergic to gluten, while the other 99 percent are sick of having to hear about it.
NASA has discovered a new galaxy that creates two new stars every day. I’m not sure what the galaxy’s name is, but I think we can rule out “American Idol.”
I read that the Cheesecake Factory is planning to open its first location in the Middle East. It’ll be weird when customers are reading the menu and they’re like, “And we thought the Koran was long — I'm on page 20 and we're still on lettuce wraps!”