The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

There is a big Hollywood movie opening — "Total Recall." It's a remake of the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. It's a movie that asks two haunting questions: "What is reality?" and "Will you pay to see a movie that kind of stunk the first time?"

The new movie doesn't have Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's got Colin Farrell. I don't think Colin Farrell is a good replacement — because he can act.

"Total Recall" is about a guy who wakes up with no memory, which is a perfect role for Colin Farrell because he's Irish. They're used to it.

Colin Farrell's character is a spy, and his wife is an assassin who's trying to kill him. That must be why they didn't bring back Arnold Schwarzenegger. He could never relate to a character whose wife wants to kill him.