The Romneys have a horse competing in the Olympics. Ann Romney's horse failed to win a medal in the dressage event today, which is a shame because if there's one thing that family needs, it's more gold.

Ann Romney's Olympic horse is named Rafalco. She said I needed a silly name that no one's ever heard of before and Mitt was taken.

A former U.S. Olympic swimmer in an interview said that nearly all elite competitive swimmers pee in the pool regularly. So apparently I am an elite competitive swimmer.

Something else is going on this week that's just as important as the Olympics. Shark week? Yes, that is going on. But no, something even more terrifying than sharks. This week is international clown week. That's something more terrifying than sharks.

Some people think clowns descended from a medieval court jester. I don't. I just think they're jerks in makeup.

Some people think clowns are really scary. These people are called correct.

There's a lot of famous clowns. Bozo the Clown, Krusty the Clown, Joe Biden. There's three right there.

Maybe I'm being too harsh on clowns because it's a tough gig. Imagine putting on a ridiculous wig and squeezing into a suit every day. It's like being William Shatner.