Friday Apr 06 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Hundreds of barefoot Filipinos marched on the roads through the Philippines carrying heavy wooden crosses and whipping their backs until they bled to prepare for Easter. Call me old-fashioned but I just like coloring the eggs.
Tim Tebow is scheduled to deliver an Easter sermon at a church in Texas. And, although it's not official, there's now rumors that the church has been talking to Peyton Manning.
New York's famous Carnegie Deli honored Tim Tebow's move to the Jets by naming a sandwich after him. The Tim Tebow sandwich. Pretty amazing. Two pieces of fish, five pieces of bread, feeds 5,000 people.
Best Buy announced they will close 50 stores in the United States while opening 50 new stores in China at the same time. Remember the old days when we just sent the jobs overseas? Now we're sending the whole store.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Next week is the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. It is a terrible tragedy. And what better way to mark this somber anniversary than with a big Hollywood movie in 3-D.
It's pretty amazing that computer programs can transform older movies into 3-D. They take something flat and two-dimensional, and then make it seem real. They should try that with Mitt Romney.
The whole idea of re-releasing old movies does bother me a little bit. If they're going to re-release an old movie, I should be able to get in with my old ticket.
Tonight's presentation of "The Late Late Show" is brought to you in 3-D. Now you can experience shame and total disappointment in three dimensions.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
Mitt Romney has spent $53 million on ads, and Rick Santorum has spent $9 million. Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich drew a poster with his name on it and showed up in the background of the "Today" show.
A woman recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy while she was onboard a Delta flight — marking the first time someone flying Delta actually arrived early.
According to a recent study, most people think that they are thinner than they really are. Which explains why the other day I saw Newt Gingrich buying a Speedo at Forever 21.
A new report found that high schools across the country are not doing enough to teach kids about safe sex. But on the bright side, it looks like we’re getting a fifth season of "Teen Mom."