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The Best of Late Nite Jokes

Thursday Mar 15 2012


 
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The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

President Obama said he's set up a task force to look into high gas prices. He'd look into it himself, but he's busy working on those NCAA tournament brackets.

More and more Republicans are calling on Newt Gingrich to drop out of the campaign. Well, I don't want to say things look bad for Newt, but his ex-wives now are starting to outnumber his supporters.

Rick Santorum says if elected president, he'll crack down on Internet porn. You thought he was alienating female voters with that birth control thing? Oh, guys are gonna be leaving in droves.

The English press is reporting that Prince Harry is a little depressed. Prince Harry wishes he was a normal 27-year-old guy. He's got no job. He can't commit to a relationship. He still lives at home. He IS a normal 27-year-old.

 

Conan

Rerun

 

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

 

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Rerun

 

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

It's weird the way we celebrate St. Patrick's Day in America. Can you imagine if Ireland had a holiday where everyone dressed up like Benjamin Franklin and drank red, white, and blue beer? It would seem like they are making fun of us, right?

Spring break is the week where college students get a much-needed break from binge drinking in Nebraska and go to binge drink in Florida.

I wonder what the cast of "Jersey Shore" does on spring break. Do you think they go to school for a week?

And yesterday Rick Santorum greeted the locals by telling them if Puerto Rico wants to become a state, they need to start speaking English. Only Rick Santorum would go to someone's native land and tell them they're speaking the wrong language.

 

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Rerun

 

 
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