Tuesday Mar 06 2012
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Today is the multi-state primary known as "Super Tuesday." It's going to be followed tomorrow by "Now we're really stuck with Romney Wednesday."
In several of the Super Tuesday states, a third of the voters still believe that President Obama was born in a foreign country. These are the same people who think Super Tuesday is Superman's birthday.
As of tomorrow, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum all get Secret Service protection. Meanwhile, Ron Paul will get a can of mace.
Snooki's boyfriend reportedly proposed to her. Apparently he said, "Will you make me the happiest man on earth or do you still want to go through with this?"
Late Show with David Letterman
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Ten states had their big primaries. Everyone says the big money's on Mitt Romney. I mean literally. He's so rich that money oozes from his pores.
Romney spent five and a half million bucks on TV advertising in the Super Tuesday states. Meanwhile, Ron Paul put a sticker on a light pole.
Mitt Romney's been out on the campaign trail even though he's suffering from a terrible cold. I'm not surprised he's sick. It's very unsanitary to keep putting your foot in your mouth like that.
It didn't help matters that Romney kept blowing his nose into $100 bills.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon