Ron Paul’s campaign is upset because during last week's Republican presidential debate, he only got to speak for 89 seconds. Meanwhile, Rick Perry's campaign is upset because during last week's debate, he got to speak.
Over the weekend in New York, two Occupy Wall Street protesters got married at the protest. They are registered at Bed, Bath, and Seriously, You Need to Take a Bath.
Starbucks announced plans to open a line of juice bars. They would have done this years ago but it took them a while to figure out how to burn orange juice.
Silvio Berlusconi is stepping down as prime minister of Italy. He’s being replaced by Billy Crystal.
If we have to sit through any more of these Republican debates, I'm ready for a dictatorship.
I'm thinking Herman Cain doesn't get it. He brought a date to the debate.
Cain also says that he's in favor of waterboarding — as long as it is consensual.
There was another Republican debate on Saturday, and listen to this: Ron Paul only got 89 seconds to speak. Seriously? Rick Perry gets more time than that to try to remember something.
Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman accused his Republican opponents of coming up with easy sound bites just to get applause. In response, Mitt Romney was like, “That is ridiculous. Clap if you like bacon!"
I heard about a new insulin device for diabetics that could test tears instead of blood. That'll be weird when you're like, “Hey, I need to test my blood sugar. Can you put on ‘Marley and Me?'"
A man in Illinois was arrested for calling the cops five times because his iPhone wasn’t working. Yup, someone was arrested for calling someone five times in one day. Do you hear that, Mom?