Friday Oct 14 2011
Late Night Jokes Delivered to your Mailbox Daily!
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain has come out of nowhere to become the new front-runner. And believe me, Mitt Romney is worried. He's sweating like Rick Perry.
The Republican candidates are still looking for ways to stop Romney. See, it's hard to disagree with his positions — because as you know, he's taken every position.
Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years.
Warren Buffett’s company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding.
Late Show with David Letterman
Critics of the Wall Street protesters claim that they have old ideas, nothing new, and they're never going to work. Wait a minute., that sounds like this show.
Herman Cain said, starting today, if you buy into his 9-9-9 plan, he'll throw in a free 32-ounce soda.
I heard a lot of things in politics and we've seen a lot of odd things, but Rick Perry is the first potential candidate I’ve ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy.
Late Show Top Ten
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Buying The Japanese Toilet Bike
A toilet and a bike in one — where do I sign?
Can I save money by buying a used toilet bike?
Do they make a recumbent toilet bike?
Can I save 15 percent on toilet bike insurance by switching to Geico?
Would it be safer to buy a toilet car?
Does my city have a toilet bike lane?
Will my friends think I'm showing off?
No No. 3 — writer buying a toilet bike
Why can't America build a decent toilet bike?
Where did my life go wrong?
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
The Occupy Wall Street protests continue to grow. They've started to attract a very unsavory element — celebrities.
They're really giving this new “Footloose” movie a big marketing push. They're selling clothing inspired by the film. High-heeled red boots, nail polish, stuff for women too.
We're all familiar with the plot. The elders of a small town ban dancing, and then the youth rise up and kill them and clog dance on their heads.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
This week in New York, a squirrel spent three days inside a CVS. He wasn't hiding, he was just standing there, waiting for them to open a second register.
A NASCAR track in North Carolina is selling a funnel cake that's covered with both bacon and chocolate. Yeah, NASCAR fans are like, “That's just ridiculous. No ice cream?”
A principal of a school in Massachusetts is banning students from wearing costumes on Halloween. Or as the kids put it, “So do you want to toilet paper your own house? Or do you want uh . . . “
A hot dog vendor in California was arrested for selling guns at his hot dog stand. Wait, a place you can buy a hot dog and a gun? I’m pretty sure that's called Wal-Mart. Right?