I know what I’ll be doing this weekend: Practicing my jazz hands, because the Tony Awards are coming up.
Neal Patrick Harris is hosting the Tony Awards. If he quits, CBS will probably just replace him with Ashton Kutcher.
I’m officially sick of superhero movies. I feel the same about inspirational posters with kitties hanging onto things.
When I was a kid, my parents never let me use the movie camera. I was always too drunk.
LeBron James is promoting a new caffeine strip for your tongue that quickly dissolves — you know, just like he does in the fourth quarter.
Happy Birthday to Sasha Obama, who turned 10 years old today! Happy Birthday, Sasha! It was cute, especially when Michelle had Sasha blow out the candles on her birthday lettuce.
It was just revealed that Osama bin Laden’s bedroom had the only air conditioner in his entire compound. Yeah, I’m starting to think that guy was a bit of a jerk.
Cornell University had its first 80th reunion last night for the class of 1931. It was tough to gossip, because it was just like, “Did you hear about Herman and Sheila? Yeah, still dead.”